1 Nephi 12:1-13
Before we even start in chapter 12, at the beginning of the Institute manual's section for this chapter, there is a blurb about Heavenly Father granting the righteous desires of our hearts. Boyd K. Packer says "No message appears in scripture more times, in more ways that 'Ask, and ye shall receive." This is a very interesting concept to me, I recently discussed this with a friend, the whole idea of prayer, what is the purpose, and how to pray for what we want. It was really interesting and very eye opening for me, because as you know, I'm very infantile in my spiritual level. Don't get me wrong, I've grown tremendously over the last several years and most in the last few months, and I greatly desire to be a spiritual giant, but I'm not there yet, not even close. I squandered so many precious years in rebellion, learning my lessons the hard way, thinking I knew better. So as a 31 year old woman, I should know more about and deeply understand the simple concept of prayer, but I don't. I'm learning but slowly. Stay tuned for a blog post on "Prayer" and the things I've learned about it recently. Anyway, in his talk, President Packer uses Nephi desiring to see the things that his father saw as an example of the Lord granting the righteous desires of our hearts.
12:1-3 - When Nephi sees all his people and the people of his brothers, and to see all the violence and blood that spills between them, it must have been heart breaking. I try to put myself in Nephi's shoes (or sandals hahaha) and imagine if I were looking at millions of my children's children's children and they were constantly warring with their cousins to the extent that there was almost no peace, I think I would feel sick to my stomach. I mean once you get that far removed in posterity, they are just regular people, but the constant loss of life and insecurity must have made him deeply sad. Another aspect of the Nephite's never ending wars are the fact that according to the Lord, the Lamanites were there to forcefully remind the Nephite's about God and their commitment to him. So when there were wars, many times it was because the Nephite's had become prideful and arrogant, and ignored the prophets, because the Lord uses war as a last resort. The blood and war must have been awful to see, but to watch my children constantly turning away from the Lord, rejecting the prophets, treating each other poorly, must have been the worst part of the whole thing. I'm not sure if the vision went into that much detail but it would have been the worst part for me, once I found out about it.
12:4-6 - I guess the climax of Nephite existence was when Jesus came to them and should himself to them. So it would make sense that in the vision Nephi would see that event. As far as we know there haven't been any indicators previously that they had been taught by Lehi that the Savior would visit them after his resurrection so this must have been very overwhelming for Nephi. It's hard for me to relate to the shock that he might experience, looking at the vision from the point of time, after the fact.
12:7-10 - My question yesterday about which apostles are going to judge who is addressed here in this section. It's not really answered for me though because first the angel says that the 12 apostles from Israel will judge everyone, but then it says that the 12 chosen from Nephi's people will judge their own people. A little bit more confusing, but I guess overall it doesn't really matter right now, who's going to judge who. Ok, I have to go off topic a little bit here because I don't think that I'm adequately addressing my real concern here. During my life, mostly my childhood, I learned that men did not have my best interests in mind, ever. I was, and have been repeatedly, used, abused, belittled, judged, and many other bad things have happened to me at the hands of "great men," pillar of the community, respected and admired. So when I hear that a man in an authoritative position who doesn't know me is going to tell me what I did wrong in this life and is going to "judge" me, I'm not ok with that. I want Jesus, my Jesus, the man I know and love, and who knows me and loves me, I want HIM to "judge" me. I guess I just feel like I've been "judged" enough by men and I'm not really interested in working my butt off in this life and having it happen again on the other side. Logically I know that God is a just and merciful God and that I will be cared for and protected but emotionally I hear "the 12 apostles are going to judge you" and suddenly I'm a little girl being hurt again.
12:10 - "Garments are made white in his blood." Another one of Nephi's writing quirks is that he uses metaphors that can be a little difficult to understand. For instance, he uses colors, more specifically black and white, often enough and in conjunction with skin tone that it can cause some problems for some readers. My ex husband is black, and of course like so many other, myself included for a while, he had issue with some of the "views" of the church in it's history. One of his arguments was that Nephi had described his people as "white and delightsome" and that the wicked Lamanites were cursed with a "skin of blackness." I can definitely see how someone who was born with dark skin can read this initially and be offended. God created all the same, skin color doesn't make or break anyone, at any time, ever. And I decided that I had to have some answers because my kids are half African-American and I had to have something to tell them when their questions came up about this topic. So I did some research, and went the the LDS Genesis Group meetings and I came across an article by Darius Gray, the founder of the Genesis group and an amazing man. He discusses in depth the reasons and meanings behind the Book of Mormon's use of the descriptions of "white" and "black." I will have to look and find the article, because it was amazing, but basically he said that when Nephi used those words as descriptions, he was referencing the spiritual purity, not the actual skin color. Logically it wouldn't make sense to me to have a God that on one hand says he is no respecter of persons, but on the other says "this skin color is good and this skin color is cursed." That doesn't make any sense to me. What would make more sense to me is to have a God who teaches in stories and symbolism, do that same thing in other places, but in such a way that it might make some question their faith and really rely on the Lord for answers. Because honestly, like everything else LDS, you have to know for yourself, and if the treatment of peoples of color is a big deal for you, like it was for me, eventually you have to take the issue to the Lord, and you would be surprised what lessons he might teach you if your heart is open to receive them.
12:1-3 - When Nephi sees all his people and the people of his brothers, and to see all the violence and blood that spills between them, it must have been heart breaking. I try to put myself in Nephi's shoes (or sandals hahaha) and imagine if I were looking at millions of my children's children's children and they were constantly warring with their cousins to the extent that there was almost no peace, I think I would feel sick to my stomach. I mean once you get that far removed in posterity, they are just regular people, but the constant loss of life and insecurity must have made him deeply sad. Another aspect of the Nephite's never ending wars are the fact that according to the Lord, the Lamanites were there to forcefully remind the Nephite's about God and their commitment to him. So when there were wars, many times it was because the Nephite's had become prideful and arrogant, and ignored the prophets, because the Lord uses war as a last resort. The blood and war must have been awful to see, but to watch my children constantly turning away from the Lord, rejecting the prophets, treating each other poorly, must have been the worst part of the whole thing. I'm not sure if the vision went into that much detail but it would have been the worst part for me, once I found out about it.
12:4-6 - I guess the climax of Nephite existence was when Jesus came to them and should himself to them. So it would make sense that in the vision Nephi would see that event. As far as we know there haven't been any indicators previously that they had been taught by Lehi that the Savior would visit them after his resurrection so this must have been very overwhelming for Nephi. It's hard for me to relate to the shock that he might experience, looking at the vision from the point of time, after the fact.
12:7-10 - My question yesterday about which apostles are going to judge who is addressed here in this section. It's not really answered for me though because first the angel says that the 12 apostles from Israel will judge everyone, but then it says that the 12 chosen from Nephi's people will judge their own people. A little bit more confusing, but I guess overall it doesn't really matter right now, who's going to judge who. Ok, I have to go off topic a little bit here because I don't think that I'm adequately addressing my real concern here. During my life, mostly my childhood, I learned that men did not have my best interests in mind, ever. I was, and have been repeatedly, used, abused, belittled, judged, and many other bad things have happened to me at the hands of "great men," pillar of the community, respected and admired. So when I hear that a man in an authoritative position who doesn't know me is going to tell me what I did wrong in this life and is going to "judge" me, I'm not ok with that. I want Jesus, my Jesus, the man I know and love, and who knows me and loves me, I want HIM to "judge" me. I guess I just feel like I've been "judged" enough by men and I'm not really interested in working my butt off in this life and having it happen again on the other side. Logically I know that God is a just and merciful God and that I will be cared for and protected but emotionally I hear "the 12 apostles are going to judge you" and suddenly I'm a little girl being hurt again.
12:10 - "Garments are made white in his blood." Another one of Nephi's writing quirks is that he uses metaphors that can be a little difficult to understand. For instance, he uses colors, more specifically black and white, often enough and in conjunction with skin tone that it can cause some problems for some readers. My ex husband is black, and of course like so many other, myself included for a while, he had issue with some of the "views" of the church in it's history. One of his arguments was that Nephi had described his people as "white and delightsome" and that the wicked Lamanites were cursed with a "skin of blackness." I can definitely see how someone who was born with dark skin can read this initially and be offended. God created all the same, skin color doesn't make or break anyone, at any time, ever. And I decided that I had to have some answers because my kids are half African-American and I had to have something to tell them when their questions came up about this topic. So I did some research, and went the the LDS Genesis Group meetings and I came across an article by Darius Gray, the founder of the Genesis group and an amazing man. He discusses in depth the reasons and meanings behind the Book of Mormon's use of the descriptions of "white" and "black." I will have to look and find the article, because it was amazing, but basically he said that when Nephi used those words as descriptions, he was referencing the spiritual purity, not the actual skin color. Logically it wouldn't make sense to me to have a God that on one hand says he is no respecter of persons, but on the other says "this skin color is good and this skin color is cursed." That doesn't make any sense to me. What would make more sense to me is to have a God who teaches in stories and symbolism, do that same thing in other places, but in such a way that it might make some question their faith and really rely on the Lord for answers. Because honestly, like everything else LDS, you have to know for yourself, and if the treatment of peoples of color is a big deal for you, like it was for me, eventually you have to take the issue to the Lord, and you would be surprised what lessons he might teach you if your heart is open to receive them.
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