1 Nephi 12:13-23
Sometimes I wish that I could forget everything that I've read in the Book of Mormon and read it fresh, for the first time, now that I'm older. I sometimes will hear stories about how a nonmember will read the Book of Mormon, and be hooked and finish it in one night and then know that the church is true. I finished the Book of Mormon for the first time when I was like 14, and I didn't understand hardly any of it. The more I've read, the more I've come to understand, but I sometimes I wish I could try it again, to see if now that I'm older I would read it, understand more and just "know." Mormonism has always made sense to me, and honestly it's the only religion that does or ever has. But sometimes I wonder if I was born a non member, would I have sought God? Would I have desired for something deeper out of life? Would I have pursued other religions but still yearned for the truth? Would I have read the Bible in search of some deep answers? I always wonder if I desire the truth and try hard to be a good servant because I've always known, or if I hadn't always known, would I still have been desirous to be a faithful disciple of Christ?
12:13-19 - Again, this is where Nephi sees his posterity completely destroyed by their cousins. In verse 19 it talks about them being destroyed because they were proud and wicked. That must have been so heart breaking for Nephi to see that. So he is seeing the wars between the two peoples and then the angel says "look at the river of filthy water and the great and spacious building." So again, I don't know if there are two different scenes that are going back and forth, or if it's just the same scene, but both the people and the tree of life. Honestly, all this imagery and symbolism is a little bit hard for me to follow. If the river of filthy water is the depths of hell, like the angel says, I see in my mind kind of like the Grand Canyon, cliffs and a great drop off into the water and death at the bottom. But if I stop and think about it, most rivers aren't like that, there is a bank and then a gradual decline into the deepest parts of the river. And that makes more sense, you don't just "fall" on accident into the river and drown, but I think in this instance it implies that you start by dipping your toe in, by "testing the waters," and then slowly wade into the river. Then the further in you go, the more difficult it is to get out because of the under current and then you're trapped. When I initially read the Tree of Life vision in chapter 8, I had a few misgivings about it, I thought that there were more instances of "oops, I made a little mistake and now I'm screwed for eternity" such as thinking the Iron Rod was difficult to grasp, which I think I've talked about in another post, and imagining that the river was banked on both sides by cliffs is counterintuitive to the Lord's plan because there really isn't a point from where we just "fall" into death and destruction, it's almost always a slow gradual process in which we slowly wade into sin and eventually the grasp of iniquity and addiction are so strong that it's almost, ALMOST, impossible to get out. So the Iron Rod and the river of filthy water are set out more clearly for me, but the great and spacious building is a little bit more difficult for me to understand. And when the angel says that the building is the "vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men," I have no idea what that means. Saying someone has vain imaginations is almost a benign comment, to me that's like saying someone is daydreaming about themselves all the time. That's just what that says to me, and the word "pride" in English can be used in many different ways, but usually it is meant in a way that shows confidence or appreciation for another person. "I take pride in my work," means I do it well because I want it to be good work, pretty harmless, and actually a good thing. "I'm so proud of you son!" "My daughter is my pride and joy!" All these are common place saying in our culture that demonstrate positive attributes so it's a little hard to put it together with this building concept. Another part that's difficult for me to work through is, I'm a firm believer that most people who are "arrogant" (as I think that this verse implies by "pride") are that way because they are deeply insecure, they have been hurt, probably abused, and use arrogance or rudeness as a way of protecting themselves emotionally. Ask me how I know that. So a building representing "pride" full of people, really just seems to me to be a very sad sight of so many people who have been hurt, trying to protect themselves by acting a fool. It's more of a tragedy to me than a commentary on "good vs. evil" "the word of God vs. the lifestyle of the Devil." I'm going to have to think more about this.
12:20-23 - So Nephi's "seed" is destroyed and Nephi watches the rest of their people fight and kill each other over the space of many hundreds of years. How very sad, I wonder if Nephi came out of this just deeply depressed. Again in verse 22, the "dwindle in unbelief" phrase is in there and it's kind of hard for me to accept that because after all those generations, I believe that many, if given the chance would have accepted the Gospel, so I like to substitute that phrase for "existed in ignorance." Just because it makes more sense to me. Then in verse 23, Nephi comes back to his use of color in his imagery, which I think can cause some problems for some people. So say that the Lamanites became a "dark, and loathsome" people could be take offensively if not used with some context. The term "dark" is referring to a spiritual state and not a physical one. For instance, he uses the word "filthy," does he mean literally dirty and refusing to clean themselves? Probably not, most people have a natural standard for keeping their bodies clean, so mostly like what is meant by "filthy" is in reference to the river of "filthy" water, which is sin, so I believe that he's comparing the "filthy" river water to the "filthy" behaviors, beliefs, and atitudes of the future Lamanites.
12:13-19 - Again, this is where Nephi sees his posterity completely destroyed by their cousins. In verse 19 it talks about them being destroyed because they were proud and wicked. That must have been so heart breaking for Nephi to see that. So he is seeing the wars between the two peoples and then the angel says "look at the river of filthy water and the great and spacious building." So again, I don't know if there are two different scenes that are going back and forth, or if it's just the same scene, but both the people and the tree of life. Honestly, all this imagery and symbolism is a little bit hard for me to follow. If the river of filthy water is the depths of hell, like the angel says, I see in my mind kind of like the Grand Canyon, cliffs and a great drop off into the water and death at the bottom. But if I stop and think about it, most rivers aren't like that, there is a bank and then a gradual decline into the deepest parts of the river. And that makes more sense, you don't just "fall" on accident into the river and drown, but I think in this instance it implies that you start by dipping your toe in, by "testing the waters," and then slowly wade into the river. Then the further in you go, the more difficult it is to get out because of the under current and then you're trapped. When I initially read the Tree of Life vision in chapter 8, I had a few misgivings about it, I thought that there were more instances of "oops, I made a little mistake and now I'm screwed for eternity" such as thinking the Iron Rod was difficult to grasp, which I think I've talked about in another post, and imagining that the river was banked on both sides by cliffs is counterintuitive to the Lord's plan because there really isn't a point from where we just "fall" into death and destruction, it's almost always a slow gradual process in which we slowly wade into sin and eventually the grasp of iniquity and addiction are so strong that it's almost, ALMOST, impossible to get out. So the Iron Rod and the river of filthy water are set out more clearly for me, but the great and spacious building is a little bit more difficult for me to understand. And when the angel says that the building is the "vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men," I have no idea what that means. Saying someone has vain imaginations is almost a benign comment, to me that's like saying someone is daydreaming about themselves all the time. That's just what that says to me, and the word "pride" in English can be used in many different ways, but usually it is meant in a way that shows confidence or appreciation for another person. "I take pride in my work," means I do it well because I want it to be good work, pretty harmless, and actually a good thing. "I'm so proud of you son!" "My daughter is my pride and joy!" All these are common place saying in our culture that demonstrate positive attributes so it's a little hard to put it together with this building concept. Another part that's difficult for me to work through is, I'm a firm believer that most people who are "arrogant" (as I think that this verse implies by "pride") are that way because they are deeply insecure, they have been hurt, probably abused, and use arrogance or rudeness as a way of protecting themselves emotionally. Ask me how I know that. So a building representing "pride" full of people, really just seems to me to be a very sad sight of so many people who have been hurt, trying to protect themselves by acting a fool. It's more of a tragedy to me than a commentary on "good vs. evil" "the word of God vs. the lifestyle of the Devil." I'm going to have to think more about this.
12:20-23 - So Nephi's "seed" is destroyed and Nephi watches the rest of their people fight and kill each other over the space of many hundreds of years. How very sad, I wonder if Nephi came out of this just deeply depressed. Again in verse 22, the "dwindle in unbelief" phrase is in there and it's kind of hard for me to accept that because after all those generations, I believe that many, if given the chance would have accepted the Gospel, so I like to substitute that phrase for "existed in ignorance." Just because it makes more sense to me. Then in verse 23, Nephi comes back to his use of color in his imagery, which I think can cause some problems for some people. So say that the Lamanites became a "dark, and loathsome" people could be take offensively if not used with some context. The term "dark" is referring to a spiritual state and not a physical one. For instance, he uses the word "filthy," does he mean literally dirty and refusing to clean themselves? Probably not, most people have a natural standard for keeping their bodies clean, so mostly like what is meant by "filthy" is in reference to the river of "filthy" water, which is sin, so I believe that he's comparing the "filthy" river water to the "filthy" behaviors, beliefs, and atitudes of the future Lamanites.
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