1 Nephi 14:1-10 The Lord is Kind and Merciful
14:1 - I've had kind of a hard day today as far as emotions go. I'm not sure exactly why, but I just had a lot of self discovery. I think it was mostly because my mom took my kids to the beach today and I had planned to go to the temple at 1pm then go straight to work. But for some reason, I didn't wake up until 1pm and that never happens. Yes, I probably needed the sleep but I needed the temple more. And I was so upset that I didn't get to go that it just kind of tainted my day poorly. I ended up reflecting on my trust issues and how my budding relationship with God is affected by my unwillingness to give up control and my subconscious need to be defensive around men. I know kind of deep stuff today. I started reflecting on my life and why I felt like I had to control everything, which is a myth, you can't control everything, in fact you can't control anything, except your choices and how you react to the world around you. I thought about the many time and relationships in which I've been treated poorly in so many ways. It was really kind of eye opening, but depressing as well. I realized that while I sometimes believe myself to be a happy, optimistic person, that is not really the foundation of who I am. Well, that's not true, how I am at my core is a happy, optimistic person who loves God and wants to do nothing except serve Him. However, my life experiences have been a little bit harsh and I've had to work hard to cast off the bitter, cynical, angry person that I was for so long, and I'm not there yet, I still haven't made the transition from bad to good, but I'm working hard on it and I feel like I'm pretty close to being there. Anyway, as I reflected on why I have trust issues with men, I started to become angry as I brought up all my hurt, all the awful things that have happened to me that have tainted me bitter, and I got mad. I was mad at all the men who did those things, all the men who wanted to do those things, and I was angry at God for allowing it to happen, for not protecting me, then to expect me to act like everything was fine and change myself like I was the problem.
But then there was a miracle. I was driving to work, and I usually listen to the Ensign magazine in the car on the way, but today I didn't want to. I was mad and I wanted to listen to "mad" music. But I really felt in my heart that I should listen to it, so I did and the first article I listened to talked about Brigham Young and some of the great things that he did to help the pioneers, and my heart was softened. I wasn't angry anymore. I didn't have any big revelation, but I just felt at peace and my soul was told to "relax, just calm down." Then as I'm reading the first verse of First Nephi chapter 14, I felt as if it were talking to me directly. If I "harken" unto the Lamb of God he will manifest himself to me and take away my stumbling blocks. I wanted to cry. These trust issues and hostility toward men in general are big stumbling blocks for me and here he's saying if I "harken" unto Him, he will take them away for me. I can be free from this burden and live a happy life while still being emotionally safe. It was a miracle.
14:3-5 - This verse was a way for me to see the Lord saying "I know you've been hurt, and what they did was not okay with me, and if they will not repent, then I will seek justice from them." When something bad happens to you, it's really hard to move on. It's especially hard to move on if the person or people who did it don't acknowledge that they hurt you or that they did anything wrong. It's difficult to live with especially when you feel that God himself isn't interested in what happened, if you feel like he thinks you're "overreacting." This little message to me was so merciful, he's telling me to move on, that he will take care of it. It's kind of like I tell my kids "I'm the mother, you just relax and have a good time, I'll handle it." It was a beautiful experience that I had tonight. Another point that was interesting to me is in verse 3 when it says "not the destruction of the soul." I've always wondered at the idea of a person or people being destroyed. What part of them is destroyed? Their body? But they will be resurrected. Their soul? But their soul is eternal. Then I guess if you think about how we use the word "destroy" it is a lot more figurative than literal. I mean I guess it can be a literal "obliviate" but usually it's done with something like "we are going to destroy the other team." If we apply the idea of destruction of the wicked in that sense, it would more likely mean a removal of their agency because they must be accountable for their actions. In verse 4 it says "this is according to the captivity of the devil and also according to the justice of God." They must be accountable for their actions, and they will lose options and agency as a result of that. Very interesting interpretation.
14:6 - Here is where I think it begins to be about us in our times. It's hard to imagine that in the United States we must be a God fearing and commandment keeping people in order to prosper. Just the idea of someone saying that is crazy, everyone would be screaming "they are violating my rights," or "you're an idiot to ignore science, there is no God!" Pretty crazy how far we've strayed. And so it's only a matter of time, we are a Nephite nation.
14:7-9 - The "great and marvelous work." The Institute manual explains this phrase as follows: "In this context, the word great means significant and meaningful, while marvelous means wonderful and incomprehensible. Work speaks of an act or accomplishment that is everlasting." I've said this before, but I've always had the gospel, so I've always taken it for granted. It's obviously the most important thing in this life, but I've never treated it as such and I've never really felt that that was the case. Now as I'm learning this lesson, so very slowly, this "great and marvelous work" is one of the most important things that has ever happened in the history of the world. Verse 7 says that this work, or the gospel, will last forever for everyone because they will either accept it or reject it, and if they accept it they will have peace and eternal life, and if they reject it they will suffer as the devil suffers, both spiritually and temporally, which I thought was an interesting twist thrown in there. If you reject the gospel, you won't just suffer in spirit, you will also suffer in body. Very interesting.
14:10 - This is kind of a "you're with me or against me" idea. There are only 2 churches, the church of God and the church of the devil. There is no in between. I guess this might come back to the idea of the Iron Rod. If you aren't grasped firmly onto the word of God, there is really nothing else to hold on to, so you can really go anywhere, do anything, and even if you aren't actively trying to be an evil person, I guess the natural man and the devil will slowly but consistently drag you away from anything even resembling righteousness. And the pain and emptiness of living a life without the gospel must make the need to fill that void with something else (alcohol, sex, etc.) very critical.
But then there was a miracle. I was driving to work, and I usually listen to the Ensign magazine in the car on the way, but today I didn't want to. I was mad and I wanted to listen to "mad" music. But I really felt in my heart that I should listen to it, so I did and the first article I listened to talked about Brigham Young and some of the great things that he did to help the pioneers, and my heart was softened. I wasn't angry anymore. I didn't have any big revelation, but I just felt at peace and my soul was told to "relax, just calm down." Then as I'm reading the first verse of First Nephi chapter 14, I felt as if it were talking to me directly. If I "harken" unto the Lamb of God he will manifest himself to me and take away my stumbling blocks. I wanted to cry. These trust issues and hostility toward men in general are big stumbling blocks for me and here he's saying if I "harken" unto Him, he will take them away for me. I can be free from this burden and live a happy life while still being emotionally safe. It was a miracle.
14:3-5 - This verse was a way for me to see the Lord saying "I know you've been hurt, and what they did was not okay with me, and if they will not repent, then I will seek justice from them." When something bad happens to you, it's really hard to move on. It's especially hard to move on if the person or people who did it don't acknowledge that they hurt you or that they did anything wrong. It's difficult to live with especially when you feel that God himself isn't interested in what happened, if you feel like he thinks you're "overreacting." This little message to me was so merciful, he's telling me to move on, that he will take care of it. It's kind of like I tell my kids "I'm the mother, you just relax and have a good time, I'll handle it." It was a beautiful experience that I had tonight. Another point that was interesting to me is in verse 3 when it says "not the destruction of the soul." I've always wondered at the idea of a person or people being destroyed. What part of them is destroyed? Their body? But they will be resurrected. Their soul? But their soul is eternal. Then I guess if you think about how we use the word "destroy" it is a lot more figurative than literal. I mean I guess it can be a literal "obliviate" but usually it's done with something like "we are going to destroy the other team." If we apply the idea of destruction of the wicked in that sense, it would more likely mean a removal of their agency because they must be accountable for their actions. In verse 4 it says "this is according to the captivity of the devil and also according to the justice of God." They must be accountable for their actions, and they will lose options and agency as a result of that. Very interesting interpretation.
14:6 - Here is where I think it begins to be about us in our times. It's hard to imagine that in the United States we must be a God fearing and commandment keeping people in order to prosper. Just the idea of someone saying that is crazy, everyone would be screaming "they are violating my rights," or "you're an idiot to ignore science, there is no God!" Pretty crazy how far we've strayed. And so it's only a matter of time, we are a Nephite nation.
14:7-9 - The "great and marvelous work." The Institute manual explains this phrase as follows: "In this context, the word great means significant and meaningful, while marvelous means wonderful and incomprehensible. Work speaks of an act or accomplishment that is everlasting." I've said this before, but I've always had the gospel, so I've always taken it for granted. It's obviously the most important thing in this life, but I've never treated it as such and I've never really felt that that was the case. Now as I'm learning this lesson, so very slowly, this "great and marvelous work" is one of the most important things that has ever happened in the history of the world. Verse 7 says that this work, or the gospel, will last forever for everyone because they will either accept it or reject it, and if they accept it they will have peace and eternal life, and if they reject it they will suffer as the devil suffers, both spiritually and temporally, which I thought was an interesting twist thrown in there. If you reject the gospel, you won't just suffer in spirit, you will also suffer in body. Very interesting.
14:10 - This is kind of a "you're with me or against me" idea. There are only 2 churches, the church of God and the church of the devil. There is no in between. I guess this might come back to the idea of the Iron Rod. If you aren't grasped firmly onto the word of God, there is really nothing else to hold on to, so you can really go anywhere, do anything, and even if you aren't actively trying to be an evil person, I guess the natural man and the devil will slowly but consistently drag you away from anything even resembling righteousness. And the pain and emptiness of living a life without the gospel must make the need to fill that void with something else (alcohol, sex, etc.) very critical.
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