2 Nephi 2:1-10
2:1-3 – Lehi recognizes that all the craziness that “the boys” (the naughty ones in the family) has affected all those in the traveling party, to include Jacob who was probably much less than 12 or 15 when his father died. But he promises him that all these terrible problems that Jacob has gone through would benefit him in the long wrong. This has been promised many times in the scriptures to include modern day revelation. The Institute manual cites D&C 98:3 “and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good,” and then again when Joseph Smith is in Liberty jail, he pleads for relief and his answer is one of my absolute favorite scriptures, D&C 122:7 “and above all, is the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” To me this is the ultimate example of the law of compensation and clear evidence of the concept that we are completely blind to the eternal perspective. If the greatest suffering possible that a person can go through, ever, anyone, and there has been some absolute horror, if all that can be turned into a positive event for the victim, clearly that shows that we aren’t seeing hardly any of the ultimate plan.
I can see how that can be powerful in my own life with my own suffering, because of course I’m like Nephi I feel that my suffering has been greatest above all, but because it’s worse than anyone else’s, but just because I think everything is about me. Progress and true healing can begin when you feel that your suffering has meaning, that there is something positive that can come out of it, I truly believe that healing can’t begin before that. But what’s new to me from this verse is the idea that the suffering of others, namely my children, will be for their own benefit. That’s very difficult for me to accept because I’m a single mom, I work a lot, I try to be a good mom, but I suck at it a lot of times. My children have suffered many things, from me as an inadequate mother, and also from their father, and my brother, the cruelty of others, etc. And many nights I have cried myself to sleep praying for them, worrying about them, thinking of all these ways that I can alleviate their suffering. And I remember one night it coming to me that they were strong enough to handle these challenges, and that they needed to experience this heartache so that they could handle experiences that would come later in their lives. Kind of like I was prepared in my childhood for my adult life, so my children need the same experience. I will do anything I can to help spare someone’s suffering, especially if they are kids, and that is good. But when I can’t keep them away from it, I get pretty upset, and I need to know that this principle still applies. I can do what I can do to help people feel better, but if I can’t do something, then all the pain will be for their eternal benefit, and I can’t argue with that.
I can see how that can be powerful in my own life with my own suffering, because of course I’m like Nephi I feel that my suffering has been greatest above all, but because it’s worse than anyone else’s, but just because I think everything is about me. Progress and true healing can begin when you feel that your suffering has meaning, that there is something positive that can come out of it, I truly believe that healing can’t begin before that. But what’s new to me from this verse is the idea that the suffering of others, namely my children, will be for their own benefit. That’s very difficult for me to accept because I’m a single mom, I work a lot, I try to be a good mom, but I suck at it a lot of times. My children have suffered many things, from me as an inadequate mother, and also from their father, and my brother, the cruelty of others, etc. And many nights I have cried myself to sleep praying for them, worrying about them, thinking of all these ways that I can alleviate their suffering. And I remember one night it coming to me that they were strong enough to handle these challenges, and that they needed to experience this heartache so that they could handle experiences that would come later in their lives. Kind of like I was prepared in my childhood for my adult life, so my children need the same experience. I will do anything I can to help spare someone’s suffering, especially if they are kids, and that is good. But when I can’t keep them away from it, I get pretty upset, and I need to know that this principle still applies. I can do what I can do to help people feel better, but if I can’t do something, then all the pain will be for their eternal benefit, and I can’t argue with that.
Another aspect that the Institute manual talk about is gratitude during our trials makes the eternal perspective more apparent. Elder Dallin H. Oaks says “when we give thanks in all things, we see hardships and adversities in the context of the purpose of life. We are sent here to be tested… We are meant to learn and grow through that opposition.” It doesn’t say that the purpose of this life is to suffer or be miserable, in fact it’s just the opposite, yes? “Men are that they might have joy,” 2 Nephi 2:25. And the trials are meant to growing experiences are ultimately meant to bring the Spirit and comfort and to strengthen our relationship with God, not the opposite, but it can turn us away from God and eternal happiness is we look in the wrong direction for our guidance. I think that this is probably one of the mistakes that I have made in the past, is I’ve felt like “ok God is making me go through this difficult experience, so I’m not interested in hearing what he has to say, I’m going to take care of this myself” when in fact that is my stubbornness and pride, and unwillingness to be vulnerable to the Spirit that is telling me to act that way. Looking back, so many times, if I had turned to the Lord for guidance during times of turmoil, I would have grown spiritually instead of being pushed back on the path of righteousness, and sometimes just fallen into the gutter. I’m committed to act in this manner from now on, I will turn to the Lord in all things now, during trials and during times of joy as well.
2:4-6 – Jacob has beheld the glory of God while in his youth. I wonder what it means to behold God's glory? I will have to look that up. The Institute manual defines "salvation as “to be saved from both physical and spiritual death.” I’ve never heard it explained like that before. So all people born on this earth will be partially saved by the resurrection of Jesus, but not everyone will be saved spiritually. That's not to say that they can't be if they choose to, but many people will choose not to participate in the salvation process. It says that salvation is free and available to "all who will receive it. It is not free in the sense that it is given to all regardless of what they believe or how they choose to live their lives." It is like when people ask "why don't you open your temples to everyone?" Well the answer is "the temples are open to everyone, but not everyone wants to do what it takes to get to the temple." In verse 5 Lehi says that "men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil." I wondered "what about all the people who have never heard the commandments in their lifetime, what if they were never taught right from wrong?" I wonder is this references The Light of Christ as a conscience. The definition says that the "light of Christ... gives life and light to all things," and maybe one way to see this is that, it says "all things" can we assume that that means all people? If so that would level the playing field a bit so that at a minimum all people would have the opportunity to live according to their knowledge of good vs. evil. I mean I guess that makes sense in a couple of different ways. If some people had no concept of right or wrong, there would be no justice in expecting some to live high standards of conduct while letting others run crazy. If there were some people who knew and some who didn't, then I don't know if there would be enough order in the world to run a full scale campaign to spread the gospel. Even if there was, those with out any inkling of right or wrong wouldn't recognize the gospel when it did come to them, and really if they truly had no concept of the light of Christ, they really wouldn't have any agency, as they would survive completely on primal, animal survival instincts, they couldn't choose right, but they couldn't choose wrong either. So it makes sense to me that everyone would have to be born with some sort of knowledge of good vs. evil ingrained into their soul and then as they choose to act positively according to their conscience, then they will be more sensitive to the things of God, and as they act against their conscience, they are less sensitive to the things of God and more easily swayed by the temptations of the devil. One message in the Institute manual from Henry B. Eyring's talk "A Life Founded on Light and Truth" touches on this subject from yesterday's reading saying "one of the effects of disobeying God seems to be the creation of just enough spiritual anesthetic to block any sensation of the ties to God are being cut. Not only (does) the testimony of the trut slowly erode, but even the memories of what it was like to be in the light (begin) to seem... like a delusion." Maybe in the instance of the conscience, as the light of Christ, being the source of "light and truth" this might apply in that disobeying your conscience or going against what you inherently know to be right is a "spiritual anesthetic" so that you don't feel the pain in your soul as you inch closer and closer to the devil.
On the other hand obedience to what you know to be right, whether it be your conscience or actual knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ, you strengthen your bond with God. But even still Lehi explains that there is a law and every single person has broken the law, both temporally, by the fall of Adam, and spiritually by their own sins. I wonder if this is why the resurrection is universal, because individually we all did not fall physically, so to be fair and just, we are all given resurrected bodies as a kind of door prize "hey thanks for playing." But because we all have sinned in some way in our lives, we are not all saved equally. Because we all severed our own ties from God, it is up to us to accept his terms and conditions for rescue. Verse 5 talks about both spiritual and temporal law condemning all mankind to misery and death, but verse 6 says "but wait, there's more." I'm trying to imagine that I am hearing this counsel directly from Lehi for the first time. I can see how verse 5 might have seemed hopeless because if there's nothing we can do to redeem ourselves, then why even try? But we are taught in verse 6 that there is a plan of redemption from the "Holy Messiah for he is full of grace and truth." I've always wondered what the definition of "grace" is? And how do you use in a context that I understand? I always imagined having grace as being delicate and fragile, and moving fluidly, like being graceful. I don't think that that's what it means here, but I honestly have no idea what "grace" means.
2:7-10 - Jesus Christ is the only one who can satisfy the law in our behalf and no one else, it's would seem that it was impossible in some way. And in verse 7 here are the requirements for it to be used in our behalf, a "broken heart and a contrite spirit." Here is where it makes sense that salvation is free to all but there are requirements for usage. Jesus is the one who paid the price, it's fair that he get to set his own terms and conditions. Just as giving everyone knowledge of good vs evil is just, so is the proper reward for the use of that knowledge. If everyone got the same reward regardless of how well they kept faithful to their knowledge of right and wrong, that is not justice, nor is that agency. In verse 10 Lehi says that the "punishment that is affixed is in opposition to that of the happiness which is affixed." It seems that the level of punishment available for transgression of a law is in proportion to the level of happiness available for the obedience to a law. A system where the rewards and punishments were not proportionate is flawed and seems to me to be unjust, and since God in completely just, it wouldn't work.
The Institute manual explains this idea further by saying "the atonement is not simply God's method of righting wrongs and satisfying the demands of justice. The atonement in rehabilitative, a miraculous power that can help us change who we are." I love how Elder Bruce C. Hafen explains the idea that it's not just a scoreboard, not a chas register to be wrung up at judgement day. He says "I once wondered if those who refuse to repent but who then satisfy the law of justice by paying for their own sins are then worthy to enter the celestial kingdom. The answer is no. The entrance requirements for celestial life are simply higher than merely satisfying the law of justice For that reason, paying for ou sins will not bear the same fruit as repenting of our sins. Justice is a law of balance and order and it must be satisfied, either through our payment or his. But if we decline the Savior's invitation to let him carry our sins, and then satisfy justice by ourselves, we will not yet have experienced the complete rehabilitation that can occur through a combination of divine assistance and genuine repentance. Working together, those forces have the power permanently to change our hearts and our lives, preparing us for celestial life." I have wondered the same thing many times. It honestly wasn't until I read that quote that I had that answered for me. I'm not exactly sure how it's possible for us to pay for our own sins, again, please know that I'm not very well versed in gospel doctrine or scripture. But it appears that even if it was possible for us to pay for our own sins, that's not that point, the point is to become Christ like. I love the bishop I have now, when we first started talking about me going to the temple he kept saying things like "the atonement of Jesus Christ can transform you." And I didn't really know what that meant, but I'm beginning to see it more clearly now.
The last thought on this section from the Institute manual is from Elder Richard G. Scott and my favorite part says "He (Jesus) was and is perfect in every attribute, including love... his mercy pats our debt to justice when we repent and obey him." This was amazing for me to hear especially as I'm wrestling with my own need to feel loved by God and to reconcile what that means in my life. He is perfect in his love, that means that I can trust him to never abandon me, to never betray me or throw me to the wolves the second it is convenient for him. He will love me, he will give me trials and challenges and also blessings when I need them and when I'm ready for them. He will protect me and forgive me. He knows that I'm giving 100% of my effort to grow closer to him and to do what is right, even when my 100% is nothing and I'm still an "unprofitable servant." I believe that he knows and accepts my 100% as good enough, he doesn't expect anything that I can't give and he knows how hard I am trying.
On the other hand obedience to what you know to be right, whether it be your conscience or actual knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ, you strengthen your bond with God. But even still Lehi explains that there is a law and every single person has broken the law, both temporally, by the fall of Adam, and spiritually by their own sins. I wonder if this is why the resurrection is universal, because individually we all did not fall physically, so to be fair and just, we are all given resurrected bodies as a kind of door prize "hey thanks for playing." But because we all have sinned in some way in our lives, we are not all saved equally. Because we all severed our own ties from God, it is up to us to accept his terms and conditions for rescue. Verse 5 talks about both spiritual and temporal law condemning all mankind to misery and death, but verse 6 says "but wait, there's more." I'm trying to imagine that I am hearing this counsel directly from Lehi for the first time. I can see how verse 5 might have seemed hopeless because if there's nothing we can do to redeem ourselves, then why even try? But we are taught in verse 6 that there is a plan of redemption from the "Holy Messiah for he is full of grace and truth." I've always wondered what the definition of "grace" is? And how do you use in a context that I understand? I always imagined having grace as being delicate and fragile, and moving fluidly, like being graceful. I don't think that that's what it means here, but I honestly have no idea what "grace" means.
2:7-10 - Jesus Christ is the only one who can satisfy the law in our behalf and no one else, it's would seem that it was impossible in some way. And in verse 7 here are the requirements for it to be used in our behalf, a "broken heart and a contrite spirit." Here is where it makes sense that salvation is free to all but there are requirements for usage. Jesus is the one who paid the price, it's fair that he get to set his own terms and conditions. Just as giving everyone knowledge of good vs evil is just, so is the proper reward for the use of that knowledge. If everyone got the same reward regardless of how well they kept faithful to their knowledge of right and wrong, that is not justice, nor is that agency. In verse 10 Lehi says that the "punishment that is affixed is in opposition to that of the happiness which is affixed." It seems that the level of punishment available for transgression of a law is in proportion to the level of happiness available for the obedience to a law. A system where the rewards and punishments were not proportionate is flawed and seems to me to be unjust, and since God in completely just, it wouldn't work.
The Institute manual explains this idea further by saying "the atonement is not simply God's method of righting wrongs and satisfying the demands of justice. The atonement in rehabilitative, a miraculous power that can help us change who we are." I love how Elder Bruce C. Hafen explains the idea that it's not just a scoreboard, not a chas register to be wrung up at judgement day. He says "I once wondered if those who refuse to repent but who then satisfy the law of justice by paying for their own sins are then worthy to enter the celestial kingdom. The answer is no. The entrance requirements for celestial life are simply higher than merely satisfying the law of justice For that reason, paying for ou sins will not bear the same fruit as repenting of our sins. Justice is a law of balance and order and it must be satisfied, either through our payment or his. But if we decline the Savior's invitation to let him carry our sins, and then satisfy justice by ourselves, we will not yet have experienced the complete rehabilitation that can occur through a combination of divine assistance and genuine repentance. Working together, those forces have the power permanently to change our hearts and our lives, preparing us for celestial life." I have wondered the same thing many times. It honestly wasn't until I read that quote that I had that answered for me. I'm not exactly sure how it's possible for us to pay for our own sins, again, please know that I'm not very well versed in gospel doctrine or scripture. But it appears that even if it was possible for us to pay for our own sins, that's not that point, the point is to become Christ like. I love the bishop I have now, when we first started talking about me going to the temple he kept saying things like "the atonement of Jesus Christ can transform you." And I didn't really know what that meant, but I'm beginning to see it more clearly now.
The last thought on this section from the Institute manual is from Elder Richard G. Scott and my favorite part says "He (Jesus) was and is perfect in every attribute, including love... his mercy pats our debt to justice when we repent and obey him." This was amazing for me to hear especially as I'm wrestling with my own need to feel loved by God and to reconcile what that means in my life. He is perfect in his love, that means that I can trust him to never abandon me, to never betray me or throw me to the wolves the second it is convenient for him. He will love me, he will give me trials and challenges and also blessings when I need them and when I'm ready for them. He will protect me and forgive me. He knows that I'm giving 100% of my effort to grow closer to him and to do what is right, even when my 100% is nothing and I'm still an "unprofitable servant." I believe that he knows and accepts my 100% as good enough, he doesn't expect anything that I can't give and he knows how hard I am trying.
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