2 Nephi 2:11-20
2:11-14 - The concept of "agency" has always been a difficult one for me to understand. When I was a child and the "plan of salvation" was explained to me, I thought, and this is going to sound really terrible, but please remember that I was a child in an abusive household, "I wish Satan would have won because then no one would have ever hurt me, he would have made everyone be nice to me." It was difficult for me to reconcile that the suffering I endured as a child came because of my "loving" Heavenly Father's plan. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized that when I suffered Heavenly Father suffered as well, he cried right along with me. This allowed me to see God in a new light, I didn't see him in a condescending manner that was irritated with me for suffering, but I saw that he was in fact a deep concerned, compassionate man who cares for me more than I ever knew, and I was settled with that. But honestly it wasn't until recently, like within the last few weeks that I've seen that not only did God cry with me, but that the suffering has been so that I could learn lessons, so that I could know how to be a better parent, a better person. The suffering led to bitterness and self destruction, and while that was very painful, it has now come to a sense of peace and confidence and self respect that I never could have imagined before. There is a knowledge and a desire to learn that wouldn't have come any other way, everything that has ever happened to me has lead me to this moment, and for that I'm grateful. It's taken me quite some time, several years in fact, but I am beginning to come to understand, respect, and finally be grateful for the opposition that has come in life.
In the Institute manual President Ezra Taft Benson explains that "God loves us; the devil hates us. God wants us to have a fulness of joy as He has. The devil wants us to be miserable as he is. God gives us commandments to bless us. The devil would have us break these commandments to curse us." It never occurred to me that perhaps Satan was as hateful and selfish in the preexistence as he is now. The pre mortal world probably lasted for an unreasonably long time, there was much time for Lucifer to go from a "son of the morning" to the man who truly thought that he deserved to have all God's glory, who knew Heavenly Father deeply and personally, knew His character, his mission, and his true love and desire for us, to know the perfect God and even after all that say "you don't know what you're doing, we should do it my way," is the epitome of arrogance and self centeredness. He didn't honestly think that his plan was better and that his followers would be happier. He just wanted to have everyone praise him, he wanted all the recognition and power. I had always been under the impression that Satan just didn't understand the plan, the importance of agency, but I can see now, he understood completely. Heavenly Father probably met with him personally many times to plead with him to stop his rebellion and to explain the plan to him, just like I'm sure he did with any of us that had questions. No, Satan knew exactly what he was doing, he knew the eternal significance and then had the ultimate tantrum when he didn't get his way. He took followers with him for the sole purpose of not being alone and to have help destroying the rest of us. I wonder if Satan knew when he made it his mission to destroy us, that he was providing the "opposition" that made our salvation possible. That is the ultimate irony, and the despair he felt when he realized that must have been immense.
12:15-16 - I had never thought of the tree of life and the forbidden fruit to be the opposition of each other, one to bring forth the purposes of the other. I always wondered why God would command Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but to make that the only way they could accomplish their other commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. It would seem in contrast to the just and merciful nature of God to set Adam and Eve to fail. In the Institute manual President Joseph Fielding Smith explains that Adam was not necessarily commanded not to eat of the fruit but was instead advised that "is he wished to remain as he was in the garden, then he was not to eat of the fruit, but if he desired to eat it and partake of death he was at liberty to do so." This is more in line with the just nature of God, and it would explain much more why Adam would eat the fruit when death was promised result, he recognized that it was time to grow spiritually, because he knew that was what it would take to be like God. And Satan by enticing them to partake of the fruit, played right into the plan of God. I wonder if that's how it is in so many aspects of our lives. Satan gives 100% effort to make us miserable and hate ourselves, and destroy us, but the eternal plan simply uses those sufferings to reward us further as compensation.
12:17 - What is intriguing to me about verse 17 is that Lehi says "according to the things which I have read..." He doesn't say "I had a vision" or "by way of revelation" or "thus saith the Lord," he says "according to the things which I have read." Lehi discovered these truths, this knowledge, by study of the scriptures. So often I have just assumed that prophets grow in knowledge and spirituality because the Lord comes to them to teach them. I would imagine that they pray for revelation, but I didn't imagine that they would diligently read the scriptures to guidance. Kind of like wanting to yell at fit people at the gym "go home, you're done!" Lehi is a very interesting prophet that I had never really thought anything of, but I see him more and I really wish we knew more about him.
12:18-20 - Satan is an "angel of God," I've heard him described before as a man of authority, so that when Heavenly Father asked for a volunteer and Lucifer offered we all would have thought "oh yeah, Lucifer, he'd be great for the job." To be in such a position of leadership and authority and to have fallen from that state is interesting. Kind of like L&L and Judas, to see and know of God and his dealings so up close and personally and to still be like "no it's cool, I know better." It's scary because I've been in that position before, I've said that before, so scary, I hope I never go back to that, I will strive to stay close to God and listen to His counsel. From his high position and probable very personal relationship with not only Heavenly Father but also Jesus, and then when the 1/3 of spirits left with him, that must have been a devastating day. How many of our friends and deep personal relationships were severed that day? I could imagine the truth of "for the heavens wept over him." (D&C 76:26.) So Satan falls, and hates everyone, which hatred probably started long before the initial rebellion even began. It just goes to show how easy it is to start oh so slowly down the slippery path toward evil. And because of his fall, he beguiles Adam and Eve to fall, and again I wonder if Lucifer had any idea when he did that, that he was helping to accomplish the entire plan of salvation. Oh the irony.
In the Institute manual President Ezra Taft Benson explains that "God loves us; the devil hates us. God wants us to have a fulness of joy as He has. The devil wants us to be miserable as he is. God gives us commandments to bless us. The devil would have us break these commandments to curse us." It never occurred to me that perhaps Satan was as hateful and selfish in the preexistence as he is now. The pre mortal world probably lasted for an unreasonably long time, there was much time for Lucifer to go from a "son of the morning" to the man who truly thought that he deserved to have all God's glory, who knew Heavenly Father deeply and personally, knew His character, his mission, and his true love and desire for us, to know the perfect God and even after all that say "you don't know what you're doing, we should do it my way," is the epitome of arrogance and self centeredness. He didn't honestly think that his plan was better and that his followers would be happier. He just wanted to have everyone praise him, he wanted all the recognition and power. I had always been under the impression that Satan just didn't understand the plan, the importance of agency, but I can see now, he understood completely. Heavenly Father probably met with him personally many times to plead with him to stop his rebellion and to explain the plan to him, just like I'm sure he did with any of us that had questions. No, Satan knew exactly what he was doing, he knew the eternal significance and then had the ultimate tantrum when he didn't get his way. He took followers with him for the sole purpose of not being alone and to have help destroying the rest of us. I wonder if Satan knew when he made it his mission to destroy us, that he was providing the "opposition" that made our salvation possible. That is the ultimate irony, and the despair he felt when he realized that must have been immense.
12:15-16 - I had never thought of the tree of life and the forbidden fruit to be the opposition of each other, one to bring forth the purposes of the other. I always wondered why God would command Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but to make that the only way they could accomplish their other commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. It would seem in contrast to the just and merciful nature of God to set Adam and Eve to fail. In the Institute manual President Joseph Fielding Smith explains that Adam was not necessarily commanded not to eat of the fruit but was instead advised that "is he wished to remain as he was in the garden, then he was not to eat of the fruit, but if he desired to eat it and partake of death he was at liberty to do so." This is more in line with the just nature of God, and it would explain much more why Adam would eat the fruit when death was promised result, he recognized that it was time to grow spiritually, because he knew that was what it would take to be like God. And Satan by enticing them to partake of the fruit, played right into the plan of God. I wonder if that's how it is in so many aspects of our lives. Satan gives 100% effort to make us miserable and hate ourselves, and destroy us, but the eternal plan simply uses those sufferings to reward us further as compensation.
12:17 - What is intriguing to me about verse 17 is that Lehi says "according to the things which I have read..." He doesn't say "I had a vision" or "by way of revelation" or "thus saith the Lord," he says "according to the things which I have read." Lehi discovered these truths, this knowledge, by study of the scriptures. So often I have just assumed that prophets grow in knowledge and spirituality because the Lord comes to them to teach them. I would imagine that they pray for revelation, but I didn't imagine that they would diligently read the scriptures to guidance. Kind of like wanting to yell at fit people at the gym "go home, you're done!" Lehi is a very interesting prophet that I had never really thought anything of, but I see him more and I really wish we knew more about him.
12:18-20 - Satan is an "angel of God," I've heard him described before as a man of authority, so that when Heavenly Father asked for a volunteer and Lucifer offered we all would have thought "oh yeah, Lucifer, he'd be great for the job." To be in such a position of leadership and authority and to have fallen from that state is interesting. Kind of like L&L and Judas, to see and know of God and his dealings so up close and personally and to still be like "no it's cool, I know better." It's scary because I've been in that position before, I've said that before, so scary, I hope I never go back to that, I will strive to stay close to God and listen to His counsel. From his high position and probable very personal relationship with not only Heavenly Father but also Jesus, and then when the 1/3 of spirits left with him, that must have been a devastating day. How many of our friends and deep personal relationships were severed that day? I could imagine the truth of "for the heavens wept over him." (D&C 76:26.) So Satan falls, and hates everyone, which hatred probably started long before the initial rebellion even began. It just goes to show how easy it is to start oh so slowly down the slippery path toward evil. And because of his fall, he beguiles Adam and Eve to fall, and again I wonder if Lucifer had any idea when he did that, that he was helping to accomplish the entire plan of salvation. Oh the irony.
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