Sacrament Reflections

First I want to talk a little bit about the insights that I had over the weekend about the sacrament. I know that I wrote about it last week and vowed to make a stronger effort this coming week and I did. I thought about it a little bit before, but honestly I completely forgot about what I'd learned Sunday morning. Interestingly, Saturday night I read a horrible thing about slaughterhouses, and I was honestly sickened, and I realized that although torture is something that I dread and fear I realized that animals undergo death by dismemberment, torture, horror that people can't even imagine and it occurred to me that perhaps, because the atonement covers "Man, Animals, Plants, and the Earth," according to Tad R. Callister in "The Infinite Atonement," that Jesus probably feels the physical pains of animals that are butchered by human hands. It's not doctrine, that he suffered for the pains of animals, and as "The Infinite Atonement" reminds us, "Jacob seems to confirm that redemption from spiritual death is limited to man, for he taught that Christ "suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women and children, who belong to the family of Adam.'" So he suffered the "pains" only of humans, and maybe that is to be taken literally, but it seems inconsistent with the Jesus that I know to only suffer the physical pains of humans, even though animals also suffer, especially at human hands. Is it possible that when Jacob says "pains" he might mean that Jesus suffers the pains of sin, of spiritual death, for people, but it seems possible that he also suffered the pains felt by animals, in fact to me personally, gospel according to Amy, I would think that he would suffer it. And I wondered which pain was worse, all the animal suffering caused by people, or the pains needed to satisfy justice for our sins. It was in this state that I began the sacrament on Sunday. The suffering of all God's creatures sat deep in my heart as the sacrament began last Sunday. The sacrament hymn was one that I really like, on that I know the "alternative" part to, so I sung it loud and proud. It was my kids's primary program and two of my friends and some of their kids and their cousins came to watch so I actually spent the majority of the time during the sacrament messing with toddlers who were not super interested in what was going on. I couldn't help but feel that, if placed in the same situation, that Jesus wouldn't have spent his time focused on the kids as well, even though he probably would have made it more meaningful. I was happy and content and was thinking about the extent of the atonement and how Jesus took on all of our physical, emotional, and spiritual pains so that we could live again. When I was listening to "What's on the Other Side," the speaker described the beauty and peace and extravagance of the next world, and said that this was only possible because of the atonement of Jesus Christ. This shook me a little bit because I had never thought about it like that before, but as I turned it over in my mind, I found that it was true. I thought about what would happen if there had been no atonement. We would certainly live in the next life, but because we had sinned in this life we would be subjects of Satan. I was reminded of 2 Nephi 9:7-12 which says, "Wherefore, it must needs be an infinite atonement- save it should be an infinite atonement this corruption could not put on incorruption. Wherefore, the first judgement which came upon man must needs have remained to an endless duration. And if so, this flesh must have laid down to rot and to crumble to its mother earth, to rise no more." Without the atonement, we would be stuck in a state of corruption that would last forever, because justice would demand it. jacob continues, "Of the wisdom of God, his mercy and grace! For behold, if the flesh should rise no more our spirits must become subject to that angel who fell from the presence of the Eternal God, and became the devil, to rise no more. And our spirits must have become like unto him, and we become devils, angels to a devil, to be shout out from the presence of our God, and to remain with the father of lies, in misery, like unto himself; yea, to that being who beguiled our first parents, who transformeth himself nigh unto an angle of light, and stirreth up the children of men unto secret combinations of murder and all manner of secret works of darkness." Without the atonement, after his life, our spirits would be forced to do Satan's bidding, and we would "become devils, angels to a devil." It's really quite incredible, to think that our options were "death and hell" or "paradise" and it all came down to one man, one sacrifice, one incredible feat, and we are saved. Because of the atonement we can have hope that the next life will be glorious and that we will be able to be happy there, we can have hope that we will be reunited with our loved ones there, that we can take on the next chapter of our eternal progression. It was this reflection during and after the sacrament that I felt a deep and abiding love for the Savior and an increased understanding and treasuring of the atonement. I wanted to cry like Jacob, "O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit." Incredible, and it's all right here, I've probably read it a dozen times but until now I haven't grasped it's meaning or significance, and it's glorious!