My Incredible Call to Repentance

I just got the most amazing call to repentance from a person not of our faith but who knew the scriptures and knew how to preach with great power, it was incredible. I learned many lessons from her in our brief yet intense conversation, but the biggest message that I got from her was that I need to rejoice in Christ, I don't really do that, I believe in Christ, I even believe Christ, I try to keep the commandments and try to be a good person, even though I'm struggling with it. She was saying that when her husband was laid off work, she praised God, because she trusted in His promises to her that if she would be faithful he would protect her and guide her and comfort her and would give her the desires of her heart. This reminded me of the time in 1 Nephi 18:15-16 when Nephi, after being tied to the ship's mast for 4 days, finally his brothers "loosed the bands which were upon my wrists, and behold they had swollen exceedingly; and also mine ankles were much swollen, and great was the soreness thereof. Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions." I'm not tied to the mast of a ship by wicked people, starved, abused, and probably almost drowned. In fact, my "afflictions" are working a highly paid, professional job, spending lots of time in the car so that I can study the gospel, 2 beautiful, healthy, happy, and relatively well adjusted kids, living in an amazing country, living in an amazing house, having luxury at my disposal that most people have never even imagined. This is what I am "afflicted" with, and my poor attitude is a mockery of God and His goodness. If I was tied to a ship's mast would I praise God? When I lost my job did I praise God? No, even though I should have because it was a blessing, and even if it wasn't, it would have all been for my eternal welfare. Do I rejoice in the fact that I have been privileged with the gospel of Jesus Christ, or is that a side note to everything else I have going on? Should I be living in a way that I should how much I rejoice in the hope, joy, and comfort that the gospel of Jesus Christ bring? Do I live in a manner that shows people that Jesus Christ has healed my soul through the Atonement? Am I a sourpuss who whines and throws tantrums? Yes, I am. Can I say to any obstacle, any distraction, and temptation, "not today Satan, I am about my Father's business?" Do I do the Lord's work? Do I share the message of the restoration through who I am and how I act and my attitude? Do I live in a way that makes people want to know Christ because they know me? Am I a light unto the world? Or do I snuff that light out when negativity, fear, and doubt? One thing she said that knocked me back was when she said that the Lord has glorious, amazing blessings for me, all the desires of my heart, waiting for me, but sometimes we won't receive our blessings because of fear, doubt, rejection, and bitterness. This struck me as similar to the most recent general conference talk by President Uchtdorf entitled "Living the Gospel Joyful," where he said, "Part of our challenge is, I think, that we imagine that God has all of His blessings locked in a huge cloud up in heaven, refusing to give them to us unless we comply with some strict, paternalistic requirements He has set up. But the commandments aren't like that at all. In reality, Heavenly Father is constantly raining blessings upon us. It is our fear, doubt, and sin that, like an umbrella, block these blessings from reaching us." I was shocked at the similarities and I knew at that moment that truth is truth no matter where it is found and that the Lord teaches His faithful messages if they truly search him out. She knew the scriptures, the Bible, Deuteronomy, Proverbs, the New Testament, and she said SO much that was in line with the gospel and I realized that she must have learned all that from the Bible and through personal prayer and revelation. There is the gospel truth in the Bible, and it sounds stupid but I had written the Bible off as being super relevant because we have the Book of Mormon, but she knew truths that I thought were exclusive to Mormons, but I was wrong. She prayed with me, she called down the blessings of heaven for me, she taught me to "relax in Him, trust in Him." In an October 2010 general conference address entitled "Trust in God, The Go and Do," President Henry B. Eyring taught, "I am to build trust in God and His servants enough that we will go out and obey His counsel. He wants that because He loves us and wants our happiness. And He knows how a lack of trust in Him brings sadness. That lack of trust has brought sorrow to Heavenly Father's children from before the world was created. We know through the revelations of God to the Prophet Joseph Smith that many of our brothers and sisters in the premortal world rejected the plan for our mortal life presented by our Heavenly Father and His eldest Son, Jehovah. We don't know all the reasons for Lucifer's terrible success in inciting that rebellion. However, one reason is clear. Those who lost the blessing of coming into mortality lacked sufficient trust in God to avoid eternal misery... The young Nephi in the Book of Mormon stirs in us a desire to develop trust in the Lord to obey His commandments, however hard they appear to us. Nephi faced danger and possible death when he said these words of trust that we can and must feel steadily in our hearts: 'I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of Men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.' That trust come from knowing God. More than any other people on earth, we have, through the glorious events of the Restoration of the gospel, felt the peace that the Lord offered His people with the words 'Be still, and know that I am God.' My heart is filled with gratitude for what God has revealed about Himself that we might trust Him." I am not asked to risk death and danger for the sake of the gospel, I am asked to live in luxury and have a good attitude, and the Lord will help me accomplish that feat. In a December 1994 Ensign Article entitled "Rejoice in Christ" Elder Ted E. Brewerston told of a trip he took to the Paraguay Asuncion Mission, where he met the members of a small branch in Mistolar. He says that there were 214 members then and "when we arrived, we found the people smiling and happy, though on the surface it seemed that they had little reason to be joyful. First, melting snow from the Andes Mountains had flooded over the banks of the Pilcomayo River and destroyed with village. When the people moved six miles from the river, they suffered an even more disastrous flood that left three feet of water on their land for a month. This time, they lost their homes, food, and clothing. Even their chapel was washed away... A sister offered the closing prayer in her Nivacle dialect, which was translated into Spanish for me. She said, 'Even though we have no food or clothing, have lost our chapel in the flood, and we are hungry, we still have happy hearts and bright countenances. We will not complain, because we have something even more important: faith in thee and in thy Son, our Redeemer.'... Though they live in a remote area of the world, they stand as sterling examples of how faith in the Lord Jesus Christ can bring us joy. With minimal material possessions- by the standards of modern cultures- they nevertheless appreciate the spiritual gifts they receive through the gospel." I complain because I feel that my job can be stressful, I bet it was stressful not having any food to feed their children, and yet they rejoiced in Christ. I complain because I work a lot, imagine how awful it would be to not be able to work or support my family, or imagine what it would be like to be like so many other single moms out there who have to work 2-3 jobs just to pay the bills. I think my life is hard now? Wait until that is my situation. Do I pray constantly and ask Heavenly Father for help in rejoicing in Christ when I feel that my work load is too much? When we prayed together, she prayed for the protection of my children, do I pray that often for the protection of my children? No, I have a "you know what I need" attitude, and that's not acceptable. Do I treat others like treasured children of God? No, I treat them like they owe me something. I rejoice in Christ, I rejoice in the healing in his wings that has saved me, I rejoice in his goodness and mercy. I rejoice in the comfort and peace that he gives to my heart saying "everything will be alright." I rejoice in the resurrection, I rejoice in the plan of salvation, the "simple story of a world to which a Savior has been sent whom men may accept or reject, but who it, nevertheless, the Messiah."