Ether 12:23-28

12:23-28 - Moroni laments to the Lord his concern that “the Gentiles will mock at these things, because of our weakness in writing… because of the awkwardness of our hands.” I wish I could find it but of course I can’t, it was either an Ensign article or a general conference talk that went through the weaknesses of some of the ancient prophets and discussed the aspects of that. The article spoke of the difference between Enoch and Moses, who were both called as prophets when they had a speech impediment. Enoch went forward in faith and became a mighty speaker; Moses on the other hand, was hesitant and wanted his brother Aaron to be his mouthpiece. This has always intrigued me, I’ve always wondered why the Lord would “give in” and allow Aaron to the Moses’ speaker, instead of just compelling him to trust God and learn to be a great speaker, and I guess that stems from my own feeling of sometimes being compelled to “learn” something before I can move forward. If I looked closely at my life, there has probably been many times when the Lord said “ok, this could have been amazing but since you refuse to trust me, you will lose out and we will move on.” I think that essentially that’s what God did with Moses, I think that Moses was probably so terrified of his short comings that he wouldn’t move forward without his brother. No judgment, Moses had a crazy task, but I just thought that the way that this whole thing played out was interesting. There is a huge section on this in the IM so here we go: “Weakness comes to men and women through the Fall of Adam. The physical body and mind is susceptible to disease and decay. We are subject to temptation and struggle. Each of us experiences personal weaknesses. Nevertheless, the Lord clearly teaches that as we come unto Him in humility and faith, He will help us turn weakness into strength. His grace is sufficient to make this transformation by lifting us above our own natural abilities. In a very personal way, we experience how the power of the Atonement overcomes the effects of the Fall. Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke of how the Lord can help us overcome our weaknesses. ‘When we read in the scriptures of man’s ‘weakness,’ this term includes the generic but necessary weakness inherent in the general human condition in which the flesh has such an incessant impact upon the spirit. Weakness likewise includes, however, our specific, individual weaknesses, which we are expected to overcome. Life has a way of exposing these weaknesses.’ Furthermore, Elder Maxwell described how recognizing our weaknesses is one way that the Lord has chosen to increase our learning: ‘When we are unduly impatient with an omniscient God’s timing, we really are suggesting that we know what is best. Strange, isn’t it- we who wear wristwatches seek to counsel Him who oversees cosmic clocks and calendars. Because God wants us to come home after having become more like Him and His son, part of this developmental process, or necessity, consists of showing unto us our weaknesses. Hence, if we have ultimate hope we will be submissive because with His help, those weaknesses can even become strengths. It is not an easy thing, however, to be shown one’s weaknesses, as these are regularly demonstrated by life’s circumstances. Nevertheless, this is part of coming unto Christ, and it is a vital, if painful, part of God’s plan of happiness.’” Thank you Elder Maxwell for recognizing how totally painful the process of purging our weaknesses can be. I’m currently working on my most challenging and debilitating weakness that has plagued me for my whole life. It’s a slow process and to be honest I’ve fought God kicking and screaming about it. I like the concept of “ultimate hope” as helping us recognize God’s all-knowing and all loving goodness. Like we learned yesterday that hope is a trust or expectation based on experience, and I’ve learned that all that God asks of me is for my own benefit, and that it is the only way that ultimately I’ll be happy. One of the things I’ve told myself as I’ve fought the Lord on my current issue at hand is that I’m not convinced that changing will make me happier, like I don’t believe that it will be worth the effort. I guess that’s where the experience and hope comes in. I have to trust that what the Lord tells me to do will be worth the effort, and I can trust that that is true because all else that he’s ever commanded me has improved my life immensely, I honestly cannot think of one aspect of my life where I made the change or kept the commandment and thought afterwards, “that wasn’t really worth it,” and then changed back, not once, and I’ve had some serious changes to make, so I have no reason to believe that this change will be any different. I look at my life now, what I’ve struggled with in the past and how many of those issues have become strengths for me, just as verse 27 promises, “for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” I think of what I’m struggling with now and can’t wait for that to be a strength for me, to where I can look back and not even struggle with it anymore, and to even have it become easy for me. Another thing I tell myself is that if I overcome this struggle, then I will have no more weaknesses and will be perfect and therefore be arrogant and I don’t want to be that stuck up person. Logically this makes no sense, I know with my mind that this is the stupidest reason of all that I have come up with, my emotionally, in my heart, I’m terrified to become like others who I’ve seen “master” this issue, and I guess that’s where my faith comes in, that just because I overcome this one weakness, I can trust the Lord to make sure that I have another so that I can “be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me.” This is really an incredible verse, verse 27. The IM continues with a chart that I’m going to screenshot because typing doesn’t do it justice.

After the chart the IM says, “Moroni taught that not only must we exercise faith in the Lord, but we must humble ourselves as well. The book True to the Faith explains the meaning of true humility: ‘To be humble is to recognize gratefully your dependence on the Lord- to understand that you have constant need for His support. Humility is an acknowledgment that your talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that you know where your true strength lies.’ In the Guide to the Scriptures we read that grace is ‘the enabling power from God that allows men and women to obtain blessings in this life and to gain eternal life and exaltation after the have exercised faith, repented, and given their best effort to keep the commandments. Such divine help or help is given through the mercy and love of God.’ President Thomas S. Monson gave the following words of comfort: ‘Should there be anyone who feels he is too weak to change the onward and downward course of his life, or should there be those who fail to resolve to do better because of that greatest of fears, the fear of failure, there is no more comforting assurance to be had than the words of the Lord: ‘My grace,’ said He, ‘is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.’” Interestingly, before I read this part of the IM, I had referenced the same April 2000 general conference talk quoted here by President Monson. The name of the talk is “Your Eternal Voyage,” and I think that the next portion of the talk is profitable as well. President Monson continues, “Through humble prayer, diligent preparation, and faithful service, we can succeed in our sacred callings. Remember how the captains of oceangoing vessels burdened by the weight of barnacles set a course to the fresh water of the Columbia and Willamette Rivers to rid themselves of these impediments of progress? Let us, in our own lives and in our service in the Lord’s work, shed the barnacles of doubt, laziness, fear, and sin by plying the living waters of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We know their names: faith, prayer, charity, obedience, and love- to identify but a few. The lighthouse of the Lord Jesus Christ marks the way. His beacon light will guide our course to celestial glory.” What holds me back? Mostly fear, I’m terrified of giving up what I know for what I don’t, even if what I know makes me incredibly unhappy. But it’s the laziness that President Monson mentioned that really got my attention. I’m not a lazy person, I work SO much, I work SO hard, I shouldered unimaginable responsibility my whole life, being accused of being lazy, those are fighting words. But as I read this message, I saw that one of the things that I’m fighting against myself is in fact laziness. If I want to be successful at overcoming this challenge, I need to wake up a little bit earlier, I need to not play games on my phone at night so that I don’t sleep so late in the morning. I can blame it on my work schedule all day long, but the reality is that I can give up lots of little things that make me not successful in my journey, and honestly, I’ve never been willing to acknowledge that I’m being lazy by giving them up. They are the small little luxuries that I indulge myself in, but I could probably give those up in order to be more productive, and my holding on to them is really engaging in a contest of wills with God. I’m telling him that what he wants for me isn’t as good as what I have right now, and any fool can see that that’s not the case. Another point that I realized when I was driving to the store, that verse 26-28 was directly from the Lord, like a “and thus saith the Lord” type of thing, which we haven’t had in a while, instead of the teachings of a prophet, which is just the same thing, but it just seems to me that we haven’t had a direct teachings from the Lord in some time.