D&C 54 - Intro

Section 54 is a revelation to Newel Knight through Joseph Smith because Newel had come to inquire of the Lord concerning a problem that was occurring in the newly settled parts of Kirtland and surrounding areas. Basically, Leman Copley had agreed by covenant and under contract to donate his large farm to the use of the Church in settling the new saints there, but then once the saints got there, he changed his mind. Among his encouragers was Ezra Thayre, who we can remember being called on a mission just a couple of sections ago. Not having a place to settle, the Saints asked Newel Knight to ask the Lord what they were to do, and section 54 was the result.

I don’t think I’m going to get very much into it more than that tonight, I’ve decided that along with blogging through the scriptures, I’m going to do a little bit of personal journaling on here as well, what I face and how I feel as I move forward and stuff. I have to be honest, I’ve had a really bad attitude today, lots of swearing and anger and irritation, I definitely was not meek today. I can be an angry, hostile, aggressive person, I think that this is a self-defense mechanism that I developed growing up, and I hate it. I hate it because it doesn’t change anyone else’s behavior, it only makes me feel terrible and embarrassed. When I lose my mind and act a fool towards others, they never say, “you’re right thank you so much for pointing out my faults, I’m going to change that.” No, that never happens. They get angry in return, they blame me, and worst of all, I think, is that I’m blinded to my own short-comings, my own room for improvement. I definitely have the beam in my own eye. I’ve spent a lot of time over analyzing why I feel a certain way, why I react a certain way, how I can change it, being easy on myself. But today, just right now, I’ve realized that I act like a psycho because I choose to, I get angry because I choose to, the why doesn’t matter, not in my case right now anyway, the how and where and when doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is my choice. I’m a grown up, I’m a functioning adult, what I do, how I act, what I say and how I feel are going to be conscious decisions for me from now on. I’m going to choose to not be angry, to not feel hatred or bitterness or resentment anymore, I’m going to pray for this cancer to be taken out of my heart, this is what I’m going to work on.