D&C 121:38-39

121:38 - JS continues with what happens when someone is consumed by their own sins, and this speaks to me personally because I spent many years like this, and probably still do. The verse says, “Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God.” It’s interesting that he says “ere he is aware” and this really is the point for so much in our lives, we can’t see what is really happening but everyone else can. I wonder why that is, what blinds us to our own truth, whether it’s that we aren’t keeping the commandments but we think we are or if we think we are being a good person when in fact we are not. And the opposite is true, most of us are much harder on ourselves than we should be, or definitely harder on ourselves than the Lord is, I believe. I’ve had many instances where I was so angry with myself, that I was sure the Lord was super disappointed in me, but He’s whispered that I’m doing a good job and that he’s proud of me. It’s important to be able to balance between the two, recognizing our shortcomings, but also being able to be nice to ourselves in our weaknesses. The phase “kick against the pricks is explained in the IM as quoted by Elder Howard W. Hunter, “this proverbial expression of kicking against the pricks usually refers to the ox goad which was a piece of pointed iron stuck in the end of a stick used to use the ox while drawing the play. Sometimes a stubborn ox will kick back against the goad only to receive its sharpness more severely. It has become a proverb to signify the absurdity of rebelling against lawful authority.”

121:39 - Speaking of priesthood power and authority the revelation continues, “we have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.” I’ve thought and discussed this concept many times and I’d like to think that I’m the type of person that can be given authority and “power” and be able to still have integrity. King Benjamin is an excellent example of this principle, along with his son King Mosiah. Looking at it historically, it’s unusual, but it can happen. I listened to a general conference talk the other day that talked about the righteous understanding that having wealth is simply putting you in the position of steward over it in order to help your fellow beings, and I think that “power” is the same way. Those who are put in charge of someone or something is simply its steward. Leadership should be viewed as a mantle of responsibility instead of crown of glory. The IM has a very powerful quote from Elder Orson F. Whitney saying, “All men who hold position do not abuse its privileges, and the man who serves God humbly and faithfully never will, for the moment he yielded to the temptation so to do, that moment would he cease to serve the Lord; but there are many, alas! Who sadly misuse the functions of their office, and prostitute every power and privilege to the gratification of self and the injury and embarrassment of their fellow men. It is dangerous to put some men into power. They swell up and become so distended with the ideas of their greatness and importance, that we are forcibly reminded of so many inflated toy balloons, which the slightest prick of a pin would burst and ruin forever. A very small office and a very little authority is sufficient to intoxicate some men and render them entirely unfit for duty.” I’ve been listening to a book called “The Black Count” which is a story of the father of the author Alexander Dumas, who wrote the Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers, and who based most of the heroic main characters on his father, Alex Dumas. The book tells of Alex Dumas being born to a black, slave mother and a white scoundrel father. The book I’m listening to has a lot of background on the European slave trade to the Americas and I find it so interesting that there are plantation owners who believe that they own the slaves and therefore can do whatever they want. There are the overseers who also believe that they can do whatever they want. Then there are the monarchs of Europe King Louis the 16^th for instance who believe that they can do whatever they want. It is interesting to me to look at the situations of the overseers or even the plantation owners who though that the they were the most powerful being and did so many absolutely horrific things because they could, and when I looked at that I thought “how easy would it have been for the king to decide that you were treasonous and have you executed.” It was just such a blinding difference, and that scenario plays out all over the world with drug dealers, the street level guys thinking they are the end all be all of everything and then who are murdered on a whim by their “boss.” I was even talking about this principle with a friend the other day as it pertains to unionized labor. We were talking about people who call in sick to work when they are not actually sick because they know they won’t lose their jobs because they are backed by the union. Let me just put it out there that I am in a union and I like it, but my point to my friend was that it’s still a choice because I can act like that but don’t and I didn’t think that he would either.