Love & Hate - Romans 9:9-14

I’ve had an illuminating experience over the last couple of weeks, and it’s been kind of a crossroads for me. I’ve had several of these types of times in my life where I have to choose one way or the other and I have to really dissect myself and my past and my future, and honestly, I usually end up making the wrong choice and it’s incredibly painful. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am spiritually, that it’s almost incomprehensible that I would give that up for any reason… almost. Then I have to go back and confront the fact that perhaps I’m not as strong in the faith as I thought that I was.

My friend said something really powerful to me today though, that we all have our own issues and that this one is mine and it’s not going to go away and that I need to learn to deal with it. There was no justification in it, no “I understand why you feel that way,” or anything like that. I really needed to hear that because I will reason myself out of or into anything.
 She also said that I need to find a way to make this weakness a strength for me. I remember reading in Ether 12:27, “and if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
I realized that life has been so tough for me for the last decade or so and that I really came to rely on God for support and guidance, which is what he’s there for. But now that things have calmed down a little bit, do I still believe in Him enough to do what he says even when I really want to just do what I want to do. I believed in Him when I needed him, when times were bad, but do I believe in him when times are good too? This is the question that I’ve been asking myself.
And logically I know that I do believe in him always, not matter what, but emotionally it’s almost crippling. Last time I was at this crossroad, I remember considering my options and the Spirit told me, clearly and in no uncertain terms, “there is only heartache waiting for you down this path.” I didn’t listen to him then and it was incredibly painful getting back. I’m going to go ahead and listen to him this time though because clawing myself back from the gutter last time was painful enough, but now, with where I am comparative to where I was then, coming back will be almost impossibly difficult.
Emphasizing the concept of “election” or foreordination, Paul begins referencing their forefathers, or more specifically their foremothers, Sara and Rebecca. Paul recounts that the Spirit told Rebecca, when she was pregnant with the twins Jacob and Esau, “the elder shall serve the younger. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.” This seems like pretty intense language for the judgment of babies that haven’t even been born yet, and Paul even asks if this was unrighteousness on God’s part.
If Jacob and Esau weren’t even born when God’s judgment was put upon them, that has to indicate that there was something going on with them before they were born that would merit the distinction. This is like when the Savior says, “Before Abraham was, I AM.” Jesus clearly wasn’t physically older than Abraham, but he surely was spiritually. The IM comments, “An ‘election of grace’ spoken of in D&C 84:98-102 and Rom. 11:1-5 has reference to one’s situation in mortality; that is, and in circumstances where one will come in favorable contact with the gospel. This election took place in the premortal existence. Those who are faithful and diligent in the gospel in mortality receive an even more desirable election in this life and become the elect of God.”
It’s really an interesting concept, that of foreordination because it’s hard for me to understand exactly why some of us in this life get the gospel and others do not. The only thing that I can think of is that those of us who do have the gospel have a great capacity for and responsibility for helping others, improving their lives, and being good examples. The IM quotes Elder Bruce R. McConkie as teaching, “the greatest and most important talent or capacity that any of the spirit children of the Father could gain is the talent of spirituality.
Most of those who gained this talent were chosen, before they were born, to come to earth as members of the house of Israel. They were foreordained to receive the blessings that the Lord promised to Abraham and to his seed in all their generations. This foreordination is an election.” So I guess a lot of our circumstances here are based on what happened in the pre-mortal world, which is interesting to think about, but probably has to be considered only in the eternal perspective.
In His judgment of the soon-to-be-born baby boys Rebecca was carrying, God says, “Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.” This is a pretty strong sentiment and really, flies in the face of gospel principles that God loves everyone. If we think about it, if God hated Esau from before he was even born, did Esau even really ever have a chance? And is that’s the case, can we say that God is just? Not at all, so we know that there has to be something else going on, probably a mistranslation.
The IM explains, “It seems strange that God should choose one brother to hate and one to love. But while the Greek word used here odes mean ‘hate’ in the same sense that we use it, the Hebrew root translated as ‘hate’ carried many shades of meaning, including ‘rejection,’ ‘strong displeasure,’ or, very commonly, ‘loving less than.’” We know that God rejected Esau as his chosen vessel because he did not keep the commandments. I’m excited to get into this more when we get to the Old Testament, but the whole Jacob and Esau debacle is something that I’ve thought about a lot and have some opinions on.
The IM quotes Elder Bruce R. McConkie as saying, “God chose Jacob over Esau while the two were yet in Rebecca’s womb and before either, as far as the works of this life are concerned, had earned any preferential status. Why? It is a pure matter of pre-existence. Jacob was coming into the world with greater spiritual capacity than Esau; he was foreordained to a special work; he was elected to serve in a chosen capacity.” This really makes me wonder at what the pre-mortal world was really like, who we each were and how those dynamics play out in this life.
Was this judgment “unrighteousness with God?” Paul answers, “God forbid,” meaning “May it not be!” or as I think, “of course not!” Interestingly, the IM says, “As Paul wrote about the foreordination of the house of Israel, he realized that some Church members might feel that the doctrine of election was unfair. Gentile Saints might have wondered why God restricted His covenant anciently to Abraham and his descendant, while Jewish Christians might have wondered why God would accept Gentiles into the Church and consider them part of the house of Israel. Paul’s counsel to his readers was not to dispute against God.”
This is interesting because instead of offering an in depth, comprehensive explanation, Paul just says, “God does not do unrighteous things,” and leaves it at that. Why the gospel and priesthood have been offered to some and not others in this life is something that many of us have thought about extensively, and it is a legitimate concern that requires eventual understanding on our part. But the answers come as part of the eternal perspective and knowledge of God’s love for all His children. This does not come early or easily, this foundational understanding requires commitment and comprehension and therefore must be learned when we are ready. Until then we can rest assured that God doesn’t make mistakes, that all things will be evened out in the eternities, and that loves all his children the same.