Admonitions of Paul - Romans 12:4-21

The need for all people to work together to strengthen each other is because we all have the same purpose. Paul says, “for as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being man, are one body in Christ.” We can’t and don’t all have the same callings or gifts, and that’s what builds one complete whole, instead of us splintering the group with criticism and judgment.

Paul goes on to list many admonitions about teaching and ministering and exhorting, but one thing that I found really interesting is in verse 9 when he says, “Let love be without dissimulation.” The cross reference definition of “dissimulation” is “sincere, unfeigned, real.” At first glance, I think “of course love is real,” but then I have to stop and think about it for a second. I think about this concept a lot, especially in the context of the church because so much of the time we are told to “love everyone” but so often we perceive an asterisk after that statement meaning “and then they will accept the gospel.”
When and how a person accepts the gospel has absolutely nothing to do with us, we can either help or hurt the process by how we treat them, but we don’t do the converting or the healing or the seed planting. So this means that we need to base our ability to love other people not on what we think we can change about them, but how we can love them if nothing ever changes about them at all.
We all like to feel like we are so special that we can change someone or that we are so powerful or spiritual or righteous that “we” can make someone change their ways. There are several fatal flaws in this logic, the first being that we ourselves aren’t perfect so how do we think that it’s possible for us to have anything other than a minimal impact on some else’s life. The second huge flaw here is the presumption that we are supposed to intrude on this person’s relationship with Christ. Everything in their life is between them and Jesus and we have absolutely no business being in it.
If we don’t convert or change someone, and we don’t get involved in their relationship with Jesus, then just what do we love them for? How, and what does that mean? I think about it in the context of “how would I treat this person if they never change their ways?” I mean, it’s a really stupid question to ask because I am just as flawed as anyone else and they could very well be thinking the same question about me.
This leads to the next concept that Paul addresses to “abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” What is the significance of both of these statements being in the same verse together? How do we genuinely love someone but also abhor evil? This is also quiet a loaded question when it comes to dealing with those who have different beliefs than us or who live lifestyles that we consider “evil.”
Will we be kind to someone even though they are gay? Will we be rude or dismissive of someone even though they were rude first? This is something that I definitely struggle with because if someone gets an attitude with me, I will almost certainly give it right back to them. This is a defense mechanism that I’ve developed over the years, and I know that it’s not the correct reaction to have and I’m working on it. In verse 17 Paul says, “Recompense to no man evil for evil,” and that’s exactly what I’m doing, and I will continue to work on that and I’ve made great progress over the years but it’s a process.
Sometimes we have to ask, “how would I treat this person even if they can’t do anything for us?” In fact, this is one way to tell a good person, they will treat all people with kindness, even if the other person can’t benefit them in any way. If my kindness had absolutely no impact on this person’s spirituality, would I act the same way? If I don’t, would my harsh treatment of them be a better catalyst for them to improve their lives? Would my harsh treatment of them help ME to live a better life? If we can’t love people where they are for who they are, then we put conditions on our acceptance of them. Not only does this not make them want to be around us or have any attributes that we have, but it’s not the way that Jesus treats us either.
Paul continues encouraging us to work hard in business, “rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer,” being generous, “given to hospitality,” “rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Love and serve others, even “to men of low estate,” be honest, be forgiving, and be compassionate. These are general Christ-like attributes and Paul’s words here are similar to those Jesus said on the Sermon on the Mount.
Specifically concerning war time, interestingly, Paul says, “if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink.” As a combat vet, even early on in my life, I’ve struggled with the idea of “good” guy vs. “bad” guy when it comes to armed conflict. Sure there are ideological differences, especially up in the higher ranks, but for the most part, those who fight are just people just like us. I saw a thing once a long time ago that said something like, “for the most part, if enemy soldiers weren’t trying to kill each other, they would probably be friends.”
Across cultures, languages, nations, etc. most people are the same, most just want to live peacefully with their family. Most just want to be good people and watch their children grow up. Once we get into the leadership forcing them to either “fight or die” or convince them that they are fighting to protect their homes, that’s when the violence will become acceptable. But the Book of Mormon gives these examples repeatedly of enemies made friends, and as much as it was about Christ, ultimately it was about one group treating the hostiles with humanity and then every one settling down. It is the humanity that makes the difference, the recognition that “you’ve suffered too and just want to be happy,” and our acceptance of it and them as people.