Temptation - Romans 13:8-15

Another Christ-like attribute that Paul encourages is to “owe no man anything.” This is cross referenced in the scriptures with “debt,” and that’s very important, but I think it goes a little bit beyond that as well. Owing a debt is crippling, I’ve been debt free a couple of times in my life and I currently am almost there again, and it’s liberating, and empowering and the counsel that we are given on avoiding debt is both timely and accurate. Paul said this back when lending was done on a more personal level, whereas today debts and large money movements are facilitated by banks and corporations. So when I hear the phrase “owe no man,” I think of smaller debts like, “hey can I borrow your drill” or “can I borrow $5” or even as abstract as dealing with favors, etc.

There are many healthy relationships where someone is short money for lunch one time and then pays for all of lunch the next time, but there are also relationships that aren’t as healthy where someone is always “short” for lunch, always. I used to be like this, it’s a life skill, and I just had to have that conversation with my kids about friends who always expected my kids to pay for their snacks at the gas station, etc. If it was a mutually beneficial thing, then sure, but my kids got mad because it seemed like they were the only ones who ever paid for anything.
Even if everything else is the relationship is great, this one aspect can really undermine an otherwise fruitful bond. Paul’s words here can be construed as “don’t always be the taker,” because really, if you are always the taker, it gives an impression of disinterest in the person you are taking advantage of, and leaves a bad taste in their mouth. Don’t be the taker, that’s an important life lesson. And when you borrow something, give it back in at least as good of condition as they gave it to you in. If you break it, replace it. This is such an unusual trait that living this principle will always leave a good impression on the lender.
As far as favors go, this it kind of the opposite in that give favors and it’s even ok to ask for favors sometimes, but don’t be a score keeper. This is the breeding ground for extortion. If you ask someone to do something for you, don’t make any overtures about repaying a debt that they owe you. Even when doing a favor, it’s easy to say “you owe me,” but even when it’s in jest, the connotation hanging in the air is that they are now undisputedly indebted to you, and that warps a relationship, even if the favor was small or the friendship superficial. People don’t like that.
Paul continues in the same verse, and I think that it further strengthens the point, “love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.” Give out of love, whether it be money or favors, do it because you want to help the person who is in need, not because you want to hold some sort of power over their head. And when you interact with someone in a transaction of some sort, whether it be borrowing money, lending items, or doing business, so it in a manner that demonstrates that you love them. This means not taking advantage of someone, not extorting high or unusual fees. It seems kind of counterintuitive but you want someone to leave an interaction feeling like it was a positive experience for them and that they would return again if necessary. Make them know that you are a safe place for them.
This applies to the rest of the commandments that Paul mentions, adultery, murder, theft, dishonesty, jealousy, and they ultimately all come down to “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” If you truly love your neighbor, you would never rob them or lie to them or commit any acts with them that would harm them spiritually. We would desire for them to be happy, and we need to commit to helping people be happy in the way that we know to be true. This makes it sound like we should preach to them our beliefs and perhaps shame them about their behaviors that are contrary to our own. This is not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that we need to be good examples, good friends, safe places, and at a minimum not commit sin together with them because then the bad example comes and we harm not only them but our selves as well, spiritually.
The time for our repentance is now, and Paul encourages us to “cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.” The IM comments that this is similar to Paul’s later letter to the Ephesians which discusses the “whole armour of God.” But armour denotes a protective covering and light denotes knowledge and truth. What not only protects us but also provides light and truth? The gospel of Jesus Christ. How do we put on the armour of light? I would imagine that it is what Paul talks about, keeping the commandments and loving our neighbors. It’s not an instant process, and it takes time, but as we make slow and steady progress, we change little by little and one day we wake up and don’t remember our life of sin from before, and it’s beautiful.
We are to live inauspicious lives, “not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.” Does this mean we must be quiet? Definitely not. We can be passionate about things and speak about them and expect to be heard. But we can also speak out in a dignified, intelligent, positive way that creates a sense of peace and empowerment within people. The Church has urged us to be active in our local political processes and that involves speaking out on issues in a public forum.
This doesn’t mean that we must be boring, We don’t drink because of the Word of Wisdom, apparently “chambering and wantonness” mean being immoral, and strife and envy can go hand in hand with each other and all the other characteristics mentioned here. This begs the question, are there other ways to have fun besides drinking and having sex with random people? I would suggest that there are in deed other ways to have fun. And are those things really fun anyway? Jesus would suggest that they are not.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done my time in the dirt, but it’s been a long time since I’ve turned to those vices for fun and I have no regrets about walking away from that lifestyle. In fact, if we are prudish, stick in the muds, then no one is going to want to be friends with us because we will be such a drag to be around. But it’s like with everything else, we must be loving, which means we won’t be offensive, we won’t commit sin with others and bring them down too. We need to be nice and fun and happy and kind, and that’s what will entice others to want to be around us and have what we have, which is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Finally Paul urges us to “put ye one the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provisions for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.” The word “put” is cross referenced with Galatians 3:27 which says, “For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.” This would indicate to me that Paul is suggesting that we be baptized. But what does make provisions for mean? I think of what “make provisions” means in general. The only way that I can think to use the word “provisions” is when speaking of a plan. Provisions aren’t a spontaneous thing, it isn’t something that you stumble upon.
Let’s think about it like a journey, say like the pioneers for instance. They made provision, which means that they made plans for their journey, gathered their supplies, and what they would need to make the trip successfully. They didn’t wake up, fall into what they would need and then thought, “hey I should make a long cross country journey.” No, their desires were thoroughly planned out, prepared, and deliberately accomplished.
Likewise, serious sin, especially the kinds that are described with the word “lusts,” almost never just happen and they aren’t accidental. Take King David for instance. He was the chosen king of Israel, hand picked and strengthened by God, and then ended up a murderer? That’s a very big fall, and while I have no opinion on the matter of his salvation, because honestly it’s none of my business, we can profit significantly from studying his decline.
I once heard someone say that by the time David saw Bathsheba on the roof top, he almost certainly had stopped praying and reading his scriptures for some time. In fact, I recently listened to something, I think it was an Ensign article from last year that talked about David’s downfall. In 2 Samuel 11:1 is says that “after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle… David tarried still at Jerusalem.” Even though it didn’t say specifically that David stayed in Jerusalem instead of going with his army for the sole purpose of having the pick of women left behind, the author noted that David’s first misstep occurred when he wasn’t where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be there.
In the army, it is a known fact that some soldiers will purposefully stay behind from deployment if they can just so that they can spend the whole time trying to have sex with all the wives that the deployed soldiers left behind. And if that is a known practice among soldiers today then surely it would have occurred anciently and more especially when it came to the rank of king. This really makes me wonder if one of the reasons why David stayed behind was to have free reign with the women.
But let’s ignore the fact that David had probably been slipping for some time and just focus on this incident. He put himself into an environment where temptation would abound. Going on to the roof wasn’t anything wrong as far as I know, it was common practice back then, but when he saw Bathsheba “washing herself,” he wasn’t like, “oh crap, she’s naked, I should go inside now and wait until she’s had enough time to finish.” He stayed and watched, so when he recognized the temptation presenting itself to him in the target rich environment, he didn’t leave, but he stayed.
But instead of letting it go, he asked about her. Fine, no harm in asking about someone that you are attracted to, but when he finds out that she’s married, he doesn’t desist, he “sent messengers, and took her.” The wording here doesn’t convince me that this encounter was consensual, and in fact a friend once said, “he was the king, she couldn’t say no,” meaning that this was rape. Anyway, David is pretty douchy here because “he lay with her” and then sends her home. No breakfast in the morning, no commitment to her, no sparkly thing, nothing, just a one and done, in and out, wham bam thank you ma’am. This makes me wonder if this was the first time that he had done this? It doesn’t seem like something a righteous man would do, especially on his first misadventure.
But we all know that David’s story doesn’t end here. Bathsheba finds out that she’s pregnant, and so David recalls Uriah so that he can come home, have sex with his wife and then hopefully be fooled into thinking that the baby is his and raise it has his own. Uriah either is way too loyal for that or gets a heads up about what’s really going on here, doesn’t fall for it, and won’t return to see his wife, but instead stayed with David’s other servants, refusing to have a good time while his comrades suffered. So now that David couldn’t get Uriah to take accountability for the baby, David sends him to the front and commands that he be abandoned so that the enemies could kill him. Sounds like murder to me.
It’s possible that Uriah could have been killed even without David’s intervention, but did David have to have Uriah killed? Surely once Uriah returned home, everyone would assume that he had sex with his wife and then socially, the baby would have been claimed by Uriah. Even if he doesn’t sleep with his wife, everyone can assume that he did and the problem is solved. And surely David is powerful enough to pressure both Bathsheba and Uriah to not ever say anything and to raise the child as their own. Honestly, this would have been the best solution, no murder, baby raised by someone else, etc. But David went into some sort of neurotic panic and did an unspeakable thing.
All this is to say that David didn’t have sex with a married woman on accident. It wasn’t a “we were trapped in an elevator and one thing led to another,” or anything outlandish like that. David was deliberate in his plan from the start, he had ample opportunities to stop what he was doing at any point, and he didn’t. Even if he didn’t have the specific woman planned out initially, he knew what he wanted to do and he almost certainly had rationalized in his mind why what he was going to do was ok. I’ve done this to myself multiple times so I definitely know the process and it is insidious. David was slipping for long before he sent for Bathsheba, and it wasn’t an accident, or even an “oops” mistake.
This means we need to start from the beginning, and I’m talking to myself here for sure, we must not let ourselves be caught in temptation rich environments, we can not even go there in our minds, because that’s where it all starts, in our minds. Surely David had imagined having sex with women who weren’t his wife long before his eyes landed on Bathsheba. If only he could have shut that down the second it started. If only he could have turned away when he saw her naked. If only he could have just left it alone when he found out she was married. But he didn’t do any of these things, and many lives were ruined, including his, because of it.
The IM says, “Paul’s counsel to ‘make not provisions for the flesh’ reflects the truth that controlling our thought is crucial to withstanding temptations. The Greek word translated as provision means ‘forethought.’ When people succumb to temptation, it is often because they have allowed themselves to swell on the temptation and thing about committing the sin. President Boyd K. Packer suggested one way we can control our thoughts: ‘When temptation comes, you can invent a delete key in your mind- perhaps the words from a favorite hymn. Your mind is in charge; your body is the instrument of your mind. When some unworthy thought pushes into your mind, replace it with your delete key. Worthy music is powerful and can help you control your thoughts.”