The Redirect - Ephesians 4:14-32

4:14-16 - With the foundation of the gospel established, and that is apostles and prophets appointed and lead by God based on Jesus Christ, Paul notes the purposes of having such a base of belief. Not only is the church structure means to teach and perfect the saints, but also “that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight on men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive. But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.” Gospel leadership is meant to provide insight from God to His people, to give guidance that pertain to specific instances in our times, to give hope, etc. The article on this chapter from gospeldoctrine.com quotes Joseph B. Wirthlin as teaching, “the winds of false doctrine that are blowing today both outside and a few within the Church are far more dangerous to the ultimate salvation of mankind than are earthquakes, hurricanes, typhoons, volcanic eruptions, and other natural disasters. These winds can uproot people if their roots are not firmly anchored to the Rock of our salvation, which is the teachings and the gospel of Jesus Christ. We, as a people, are to live our religion and its principles and follow the leadership of our prophet, seer, and revelator regardless of what the world does.” I think it’s important to note here that following the prophets and apostles has to be reconciled with our own feelings as well. What that means is they can say something such as “homosexuality is wrong,” and we can take that in a million different directions. I have struggled with many such issues because I’m very much a “between consenting adults, it’s none of my business” type, so I struggle not because the church asks me to be too accepting, but to not be accepting enough. So I have to take a teaching like “homosexuality is wrong” and decide what that means for me in my life. I don’t want to be the one who tells someone that something is ok when perhaps it’s not, because that’s most likely what will happen. Anyway, what this specific teaching has come to mean for me is that I myself will not live in a homosexual relationship, but if someone else wants to, then that’s their business and I can still be friends, even best friends, with them. I can still love them and be kind and go to their wedding and have dinner with them and their significant other, etc. And this definitely isn’t a “love the sinner, hate the sin” type of scenario, because I hate that, I don’t think that’s possible. I don’t think that it’s possible to hate what someone is doing and still have them feel that you love them. Wait, is that true? I guess it comes down to the level of judgment because if you hate someone’s sin, then really, you are judging them. It might come down to boundaries. I don’t know, this is too complicated. But it is difficult to have opinions that differ from that of the world, and today there aren’t a lot that align with the “world,” so I guess ultimately it comes down to living by the Spirit. I’ve seen so many take the “homosexuality is wrong” teaching and warped it into hate and judgment and it gets ugly really fast. And they hide behind the curtain of “well Jesus says it’s wrong,” but they neglect the whole “hate is wrong too” and “unkindness is wrong too.” So they cling to the teaching that allows them to feel superior while ignoring the ones that require compassion and being in tune with the Spirit. 4:17-26 - I’m going to paraphrase the next few verses here, Paul calls on them to “walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind.” The non-believing gentiles can’t are “past feeling” so the Spirit can not influence their lives. Because they are without the Spirit they don’t understand the things of God, living in ignorance “because of the blindness of their heart,” and living a life of “lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.” But Paul’s gentile audience is different because they have heard the gospel and been touched by the Spirit. Paul urges them to “put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts.” Leave the life you used to live behind and embrace a new way of living and thinking and making decisions. Become the person God wants you to be and He will help you create this new life “in righteousness and true holiness.” And then he goes on to list several things that they (and we) need to abandon to become more righteous saying, “wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another.” Paul’s not just advocating honesty between church members but to all people. Honesty is a spectrum and can range anywhere from downloading a movie you don’t own to lying to someone to steal from them. It could be not giving your best effort at work (guilty), or exaggerating a story for sympathy or whatever other reason (also guilty). There’s a range to honesty and maybe the best way to purge ourselves from it might be slowly or just doing our best. Sometimes I have to go back and say “I’m sorry, what I said earlier wasn’t completely correct” and give an accurate statement, and it’s painful and embarrassing, but I have to do it and it’s important so that I can recognize when I’m doing it next time so that I can alter my behavior. I’m not saying that’s what needs to happen for everyone, but that’s what works for me so far. Another aspect of human nature that Paul warns about is anger. The KJV saying, “Be ye angry, and son not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” This seems like a completely contradictory statement, so it’s important to note that there is a JST for this verse which says, “Can ye be angry, and not sin?” This seems to clear it up quite nicely The IM notes, “This change brings this verse into harmony about Paul’s other teachings about anger, such as his counsel to ‘let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger… be put away from you,” which comes later in verse 31. As far as the rest of this verse about not going to bed angry, the IM notes, “he was teaching the saints that they should not retire for the evening until they had overcome their angry thoughts.” I know for me, when I wake up, I’m usually significantly less angry than when I went to sleep, but I would venture to guess that one of the reasons why Paul taught this was because if we do everything in our power to work out our angry feelings before we rest for the night, when we wake up we can feel even more at peace and ready for move on. This brings up another excellent point, which is anger is not simply an emotion that happens to us, we have power over it. It’s hard to accept that teaching for me because anger is my natural state of being, it’s a defense mechanism that has been my foundation for almost my whole life. I don’t feel like I chose anger, it just came naturally to me as a result of my life experiences and it came when I was young enough to definitely not choose it. So to say, “you are choosing to me angry” is very much a “screw what happened to you, deal with it, it’s all your fault,” which is not true and not a reasonable reaction. But taking my power back from my knee jerk reactionary emotions is a big part of healing. I am entitled to my feelings and they are valid, but I have to ask myself if they are a reasonable reaction to what is happening and talk myself through it. The scriptures help, the Spirit helps, and being properly medicated is a big deal too. Accepting that I am in charge of my own emotions is a big deal, it’s like Pahoran when Moroni rips him a new one for not supporting the troops, he doesn’t get angry, honestly, he’s a real inspiration. 4:27-28 - Paul urges “neither give place to the devil,” which I think would mean as not giving in to temptation, not letting Satan and all his crap weasel his way into your thoughts. Don’t entertain thoughts you know you shouldn’t have once you recognize them. I’m also guilty of this quite a bit. Paul says, “don’t steal” but “labour, working with his hands the things which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.” Now there are a couple implications that go into this that are important to note. First, this is assuming people steal because they are poor when in fact many people steal for attention or just plain greed. Second, this can be so wide spread from drug addicts looking for money for their next fix to CEOs stepping on the necks of their employees, and anywhere in between. It could be the air conditioning repair guy who tries to sell you a new furnace when you only need a tune up, which happened to me last month. It is honestly shocking to me to see how many people see me, as a single mom, and think, “I bet I can get her money out of her.” The same thing with my grandma after my grandpa died. I was absolutely astonishing how many people were foaming at the mouth to take advantage of a widow. And again, stealing is a spectrum, anywhere from not returning something you borrowed from a friend to not working as hard as you should at your job (guilty) to literally taking money out of someone’s wallet while they aren’t looking. We need to know where we are and how we can improve. This happens when we work with the Spirit. 4:29-30 - I feel like we’ve dealt with “corrupt communication” before, but I don’t remember. Paul warns his audience against using it and urges, “that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the headers.” The IM comments, “Paul encouraged the Saints to avoid ‘corrupt communication,’ which includes all forms of inappropriate speech: lying, deceit, vulgar or profane expressions, gossip, irreverent or disrespectful speech, and offensive, corrupt, degrading, belittling, or profane language, among others.” I definitely have a problem with this, it’s getting better, but it’s been pretty bad. I can make people uncomfortable, and offend them when I’m just trying to be “funny” or get them to leave me alone, etc. Most of my communication is a power play, especially when it comes to men, which is an issue that I need to work on, and that I have been with some success. It’s the second part of the verse that explains the whole purpose of communication and that is so we may be “edifying” to others. There’s a concept that you want to be the person who makes others feel empowered and important when they talk to you. Talk about ultimate power. There are many who talk and talk and talk because they think it makes them powerful to have other people hear their opinions, again, which I am absolutely guilty of. But the real power comes not when people physically head you, like you’re assaulting them in the ear, but when other people want to be around you because of how you make them feel about themselves. It’s kind of counterintuitive, because the person wielding the most influence isn’t usually the quiet one, but look at the Savior, he’s the most important person to ever have lived on the face of the planet, according to many people, and he never talked over anyone, he physically forced anyone to listen to what he was saying. This is definitely something that I struggle with but when I can make a conscious effort to try to help people feel better about themselves, I feel better about myself and our friendship is strengthened. 4:31-32 – Not only does Paul give a list of what not to do, be bitter, have wrath and anger, clamour, and “evil speaking,” and have malice, but he also says what to do instead. This is important because it’s one thing to say, “don’t do that,” but it’s important to have a redirect, like “do this instead.” Paul says, “be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, ever as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” I think it’s important to note that the kindness goes not only outward towards others, but we need to be kind to ourselves. So often we are compassionate to others, but then hold ourselves to impossibly high standards. We so easily forgive people for doing what we crucify ourselves for, and that’s not healthy. And it’s also important to remember that God forgives our sins and is in charge of forgiving our neighbor’s sins as well, we are not involved in the process. This was a good chapter, I thoroughly enjoyed it.