I Want to Want to Believe - 2 Timothy 2:14-26

2:14-19 - With the apostasy actively happening in Paul's lifetime, he gives specific instructions to Timothy on how to properly preach the gospel so that those who are prepared to receive it can feel it's truth by the Spirit. Paul focuses a lot on teaching the true gospel in a way that is gentle and without contention. Paul uses phrases like "strive not about words" and "vain babblings" to demonstrate the ineffective method of preaching the gospel which is to fight and argue about it and try to logically prove that we are correct. This is never going to work for several reasons, first, logic has never converted anyone or build a solid testimonial foundation. The gospel is the only thing that makes sense to me and the logic behind everything is a huge factor in my testimony, but if I didn't have the spiritual aspect, I could "know" the gospel all day long, but that doesn't mean that I would do anything with it. The article on this chapter from gospeldoctrine.com quotes Dallin H. Oaks as teaching, "The Lord's prescribed methods of acquiring sacred knowledge are very different from the methods used by those who acquire learning exclusively by study. For example, a frequent technique of scholarship is debate or adversarial discussion, a method with which I have had considerable personal experience. But the Lord has instructed us in ancient and modern scriptures that we should not contend over the points of his doctrine. Those who teach the gospel are instructed not to preach with 'wrath' or 'strife', but in 'mildness and in meekness, 'reviling not against revilers.' Similarly, techniques devised for adversary debate or to search out difference and work out compromises are not effective in acquiring gospel knowledge. Gospel truths and testimony are received from the Holy Ghost through reverent personal study and quiet contemplation." This begs the question, when discussing the gospel with someone who has a differing opinion on the truthfulness of it, what should we say so as to be convincing but also me "meek?" My personal answer is that we can't say anything that will convince the other person that we are right, that's not how conversion works. To think that there is some magic formula of words that we can say that will suddenly convince someone else of the error of their ways is hubris. Everyone is on their own path, we are not there to show them the correct way to go, but instead to be a stepping stone on theirs. Only the Spirit converts, we can only hope to be a part of it when it happens. We don't know what part of the journey anyone else is on and if we think there is something we can say to make them believe the gospel when they didn't before, then we presume to take the role and power of the Spirit. Paul says explicitly that we are to use "meekness" in our teachings, but what exactly does that mean? How can we preach the gospel "meekly?" I think that perhaps the word "meekly" infers a sense of passivity, meaning that instead of aggressively talking to everyone about how correct our religion is, we listen, hear what people tell us about themselves and their beliefs, their history and their feelings. It means being their friend because we respect them as people, not because we want to convert them. It means being nice when we're grumpy or irritated, keeping our mouth shut when we want to voice an opinion that is at odds with theirs. It goes back to my 2 missionary philosophies, "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care," and "Live your life in such a way that people who don't know Christ will want to because they know you." 2:20-26 - One of the things about preaching the gospel in the appropriate manner is saying what the Spirit wants you to say when he wants you to say it. But the key to being accessible to the Spirit is having him with you all the time, which means worthiness. Whenever I'm engaged in a conversation that I feel is important I try to say a little prayer while listening that asks, "please help me know what to say," and that's been a pretty good strategy so far. I'm getting better at remember to ask because the act of asking allows me to disconnect my own investment in the outcome of the conversation and reconnect with what God wants that person to hear right then. It forces me to not fixate on their end goal of conversion but instead allows me to focus on where they are in their own spiritual conversion process and speak to those needs specifically. I think one of the falsehoods that members believe is that preaching the gospel only happens when you are wearing a nametag or on Sunday. When I say "preach the gospel" I mean anytime you are interacting with another person, and I really need to take this lesson to heart because I really am not good at it. Any time we interact with another person, we are representing the manner in which the gospel of Jesus Christ has changed our lives. Preaching the gospel is holding the door open for someone who needs it, lending a hand when someone is struggling to get a walker into their car, listening to someone speak instead of just waiting for your turn to talk. It's working hard when you'd rather be on your phone (guilty), it's keeping your mouth shut instead of complaining (guilty but I'm working on it), it's reading your scriptures instead of watching TV (let's just assume that I'm wildly guilty of all these things). These are all ways that we show others the magnitude of the Savior's plan. When it comes to being able to have the Spirit with you as you minister to other, it goes back to worthiness and again, this is a topic with which I struggle deeply because I'm not perfect and I can't be. So I used to constantly think about where the defining line was between being worthy and being unworthy of the Spirit. Because if I'm not perfect then is there really any point at which I am "worthy"? It's kind of like Thor with his hammer, when it comes back to him and he tears up and says, "I'm still worthy." I think the major difference here is the concept of "deserve" vs. "worthy." No human besides Jesus deserves the Spirit, but we've been promised that if we do what we are supposed to do, we can be worthy of his companionship. And honestly, I know that we are all on our own path, we are all just trying to do what we think is best with the knowledge we have at the time. So I think I've come to the conclusion that we are worthy of the Holy Ghost when we want to have it. This sounds like "you're worthy of GPS if you want it," like it's an app that you turn on and off whenever you feel like it. But if you feel a longing in your heart to have the Spirit of God with you, then I believe that he will be there. Any amount of effort that we put forward to be even slightly obedient is rewarded 100 fold. Think about Laman and Lemuel while the family was stuck wandering the wilderness for 8 years. They finally softened their hearts enough to try to do the right stuff and Jesus took them at their word. He rewarded them with the promised land because at that time, they were being obedient. God knew who they would end up becoming, what they would do to generations after them, but he didn't judge them for who they would become, only what they did at the time, and I believe that that's true for us as well. If we desire to have the Holy Ghost and we make even a minimal effort to improve spiritually, then I believe that that is the definition of "worthy." Paul gives Timothy a metaphor using the imagery of "vessels" within a household, which I assume are bowls or utensils or something like that. He notes that the vessels are made from different materials such as "gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth." The wood and clay things would be common for everyday use, but the gold and silver would be used only on special occasions. But unlike physical materials, we can "purge" ourselves of ungodliness and become "a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work." In an article from bibleref.com it notes, "Timothy is to focus on cleansing himself from what was 'dishonorable' so he could be a vessel of 'honorable' use. In other words, those greatly used by God are those who pursue a holy like, abstaining from sin… and false teachings." There are a couple of points here that are of note, first is the use of the word "cleansing," which indicates a slow, methodical process instead of an immediate, final event. This shows that we are sanctified when we repeatedly make correct small decision which is what life consists of. Sure there will probably be times when we have to make large choices, but that is not where the testimony is built. Joseph Smith saw God and Jesus, Alma the younger saw an angel, but they both had to search, ponder and pray in order to build themselves into useful servants. The same is with us. The second interesting thing here is the concept of being available to God and doing work to make ourselves the best to be used in his service. This demonstrates that discipleship isn't something that will happen by accident. We might preach the gospel in a passive manner the majority of the time, but our journey toward the Savior is not lazy stroll. We have to make conscious decisions to be obedient, to seek Him out, and to be available to him spiritually. Paul emphasizes several characteristics that Timothy (and we) need to avoid to become a "honorable vessel." We must "flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace,.. Must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, in meekness." These are hard things to do, I myself am a very negative, violent person by nature and I've had to work really hard to become not that way, and I'm still pretty far away from being where I'm supposed to be but I'm better than I was and it's taken a lot of work. I guess my point is, if we just desire to improve, or even if we just want to want to believe, then we are worthy of personalized improvement instruction from the Spirit and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.