No Tongue - James 3

3:1-13 - Continuing in the “faith without works is dead” vein, James continues by addressing a topic that is a struggle for all of us, which is the words that we say. He gives an analogy of a horse with a “bit” in it’s mouth. Horses are huge, strong, powerful creatures but “they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body” with just a small piece of metal. If you compare the size of the two, a horse and a bit, it almost seems unimaginable that the smallest little piece of equipment could completely control a massive beast such as a horse. Likewise, “even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things.” Again, I’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to shape what I say to people, and I’m certainly not perfect at it, far from it, but I am putting forth some effort to do my best. I am fortunate to have the Spirit tell me things like “you don’t need to say that,” or “what’s the purpose of telling someone that,” or “is this about making this person feel good about themselves or about making you feel powerful?” if we think about the size of our bodies and the incredible feats that we can achieve, and compare it to the size of the tongue, it’s one of those things where it wouldn’t naturally make sense that this little bitty thing could cause so much damage. James refers to the effects of our tongues as “fire,” “fire of hell,” “unruly evil,” and “deadly poison,” which are all pretty dramatic. If we think about it, it’s said that the main reason people leave the church is because they were offended by someone. I don’t know if that’s true anymore, now I think it’s mostly doctrinal or procedural disagreements, but being offended is definitely a big deal. How can we offend someone else without speaking? We can ignore them, which is the absence of speaking so that’s still using our tongue for evil, just instead of saying bad things, we just refrain from speaking at all. I mean, I really can’t think of anything else that would drive people away from the church except having unkind words spoken to them. But then again, the opposite is true as well, the words we speak can not only offend and damage, but we can also build each other up, be encouraging and impart the good word of God. James notes this ability saying, “Therewith, bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.” The IM quotes Jeffrey R. Holland as teaching, “The voice that bears profound testimony, utters fervent prayer, and sings the hymns of Zion can be the same voice that berates and criticizes, embarrasses and demeans, inflicts pain and destroys the spirit of oneself and of others in the process.” Such a contradiction to have the same mouth praise God and then hurt others with words. A few things that I try to ask myself before I say something, “how will this make the person I’m speaking to feel?” “Am I so eager to say something that I make the person I’m speaking too feel like I’m not listening to what they have to say?” How would the person I’m talking about feel if they knew that I said this about them?” “How will I feel in a few hours after I say this?” I obviously don’t think about this stuff for every little sound that I make with my mouth, but I try, and after reading this, I’m going to try a little bit harder. James recommends that “a wise man and endued with knowledge… let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.” I interpret this to mean that we don’t need to be loud, that we should think about others first when we are deciding what to say and we don’t have to make sure that everyone knows we are the smartest people in the room, that one is for me specifically. 3:14-18 – James also counsels that “bitter envying and strife” is a lie “against the truth” and “is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” I feel like I can comment on this as someone who’s dealt with bitterness, envy, and anger in my heart pretty consistently for most of my life. One of the things that has helped me move past these feelings was something the Spirit told me once. I was working nights at a hospital in California when my kids were very little. I hated it, the work load was outrageous, my co-workers were lazy, the commute was 2+ hours every day, I only saw my kids for 45 minutes a day, and I was barely getting any sleep. It was a very difficult time for me. I just knew that if I could switch to a day position everything would change, so I kept my ear to the ground and asked everyone I could all the time if something was coming open during the day. Then one day I heard that one of the full timers with the perfect day time shift was in trouble for something and was almost certainly going to get fired. I was thrilled, this was it, this was my chance to get out of the crap that I was in. I remember thinking “oh my gosh I hope she gets fired so I can have her shift.” I very distinctly heard “do I care for you so poorly that you have to wish for the downfall of others? I could create the perfect shift for you if I wanted. I could deposit $25million into your bank account right now if I wanted. But I don’t. You have what I want you to have.” It was a truly humbling moment for me. I felt like a garbage person because of course He was right. And honestly, the girl who was in trouble, she didn’t have an easy life and I even liked her. But this comment, “you have what I want you to have,” has really stuck with me and has helped me maintain a proper perspective on a lot of issues. I don’t need to be jealous of other people, their lifestyles, their relationships, their jobs, any of it, I have what Jesus wants me to have according to his great plan for me, and I always have. It’s hard to think about sometimes, that he allowed me to be hurt for so long and in so many ways, but I know that it was for a reason and a lot of times now I recognize those reasons and I’m grateful that I have those experiences to bond with people and help them maneuver through their trauma. I’m glad that it happened, but I’m also glad that it’s not happening anymore. The opposite of all those terrible things, James says, is “wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” To me all this means kindness, not easily angered or irritated, approachable, forgiving with equality towards all. And as we work to make these characteristics part of who we are, “righteousness is sown in peace.” We will have peace in our own hearts when we try to act the way the Savior would. And it’s interesting that this peace is associated with our personal righteousness. There’s no discussion of current events or social status or anything like that. Peace comes to us from God when we make an effort to do what he says, regardless of the physical circumstances which we find ourselves in.