My Theory - Exodus 17:8-14

17:8-14 - Water has been provided for this huge group of 3 million Israelites and here comes Amalek and the Bible just says that "then came Amalek, and fought with Israel in Rephidim." That's all it says, so I thought, "ok here comes a guy and just attacks this enormous group. It would make sense that they would have to start on the outside and try to fight themselves into the middle, but it's not as straightforward as the Bible makes it sound. Apparently, according to both TB and the IM, "they attacked the Israelites in a most cowardly way, killing first the feeble, the faint, and the weary at the rear of the marching nation. For this lack of respect toward God, the Amalekites were cursed by the Lord. The Israelites were subsequently commanded to 'utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven.'" I think it's important to note something that TB reminded us of here, and that was that this group of 3 million people and all their animals trudging through the desert with this giant pillar of fire and a cloud of protection would have been notable to any group around in that area. TB says that information traveled quickly through the ancient world so all the surrounding groups of settlers would have not only known that this group was walking around looking for a new place to settle but also the miraculous (for Israel) horrible (for Egypt) series of events that led to them being freed from slavery from Egypt in the first place. All this is to say that everyone around in this area was nervous, so maybe the Amalekites attacking Israel was just their way of trying to even the odds, or to maybe say "hey keep moving, you're not welcome here."

The Amalekites clearly underestimated their enemy because they infuriated God Himself, because Moses sent Joshua to fight with the Amalekites with the intent to not win, but to completely destroy. There are a couple of thoughts that I had about this,and the first is that God instructed Moses to have the Amalekites completely destroyed. This has always bothered me because this flies in the face of God loving all of his children equally, but this makes it seem like maybe some of his children are more equal than others. It bothered me that not only were the fighters to be destroyed, which can be kind of understood, but is very different compared to Captain Moroni's warfaring methodology. But to also destroy the women and children? That seems cruel, which makes me make peace with the idea that God is just so willing to throw away the lives of women and children who aren't involved in warfare. Especially if we consider that ancient women were basically property and slaves, so it would be like God saying, "kill all the animals too," like how fair is that?

I accept that I'm probably overly sensitive about this, I've just spent so much of my life in turmoil because people are the worst and have found so much healing in Jesus, but then to find out that He actually was just like "yeah kill the girls too, who cares," is pretty difficult to reconcile. This is one of those things where I have to take what I know, that God does love all his children equally, and that he is especially the champion of women and try to understand the line between the "kill them" to the "God is love," and try to think that through. I have some ideas about how that works but I haven't heard it talked about much before so I don't know how much it's way off base, but it feels right to me.

The theory that I've come up has been slowly put together over the last several years as I've studied and learned more and will probably sounds crazy, but screw it, I'm going to put it out there and see how I feel is this: The only way that the atonement could be efficacious is if Satan had every opportunity to thwart Christ's completion of it. Because the atonement consisted of Jesus feeling and experiencing everything we've ever felt and experienced, Satan had to make all of our own collective experiences so bad that Christ couldn't endure it. That would be the way that Satan won, if he created a world SO bad that Jesus couldn't stand all the pain and suffering we've experienced and gave up on completing the atonement.

Satan's main focus would be not just making us suffer because he's miserable but to make our suffering so extreme that Jesus couldn't deal with it for the atonement. Because God knows the end from the beginning and knew just how horrific life on this early would be, he had to decide who would come here to experience that suffering. The suffering had to happen in order for Satan to have his chance to make Jesus give up, and it had to happen to God's spirit children, whom He loved, how does he decide who goes? I think that just like Christ was called, chosen, and set apart to be the Savior of the world, we were called, chosen, and set apart to suffer here on this earth. I don't think we knew exactly how bad it was going to be, just like logically Jesus knew the atonement was going to be bad, but experientially he could not fathom it.

I think that everything that has, is, or will happen on this earth that is absolutely insane and seems to make no sense if we believe in a loving God, is all part of this plan for Satan to be able to try his best to thwart the atonement through the abject quantity of suffering. We can't look at human history through a lense of "this is how we prove that God is love," because 99% of human experience here goes directly against that statement for anyone looking at it logically. The only way that we can look at this life is be able to connect God as a loving Father who only works in our best interest, is to see that this horror was necessary for the atonement to work, and it was planned for going into it and it will be overly compensated for on the back end.

That's why when people say "this life is so terrible for everyone, there can't be a God," I understand why they feel that way, and if I'm right, and this is what the plan is and how it works, then they aren't to the point yet where that makes sense, and I understand. It's one of those things that has to be worked out on the back end. It's like this life itself is a battle, violent and bloody and horrific, so to stop in the middle of the battle and try to work out the mental logistics about the purpose and how place in it is a tall order. I'm blessed, I have tons of money, good health, good kids, a good job, the gospel from birth, I've been cared for and hand held by Jesus more than most people I've ever met, so for me to hold this opinion is very privileged, I know that. I know that it's very easy for me to hand wave "it has to be worked out on the back end" and that's not fair to most people, but this is where I'm at.

Anway, Joshua goes down to fight the Amalekites and as long as Moses holds up his arms, the Israelites prevail in their battle, but if his hands droop because he's tired, then the start to lose the battle. At this point Aaron and a man named Hur hold up Moses' hands so that the Israelites can win in battle. The IM notes that this is what the First Presidency does, holds up the prophet's hands because they are so heavy with the burden of being God's mouthpiece for the Church. I thought that this was an interesting way to demonstrate that we need other people to help us remain strong spiritually. Maybe not even people, but we can't remain strong without help, and I pick Jesus.