Tenth Word - Exodus 20:17

20:17 – The tenth and final “word” is “thou shalt not covet.” This one is super pervasive but subtle and extremely destructive, I’ve struggled with it a lot. I’ve mentioned before that I grew up poor, like going hungry poor, and have worked everyday after school since I was 11 years old so make sure I had enough money for food and clothes. I’ve always worked extremely hard and I have a pretty good life. I struggle when people have “more” materially than I do but have worked for it WAY less. Like I fought and clawed for my condo that has flooded 9 times since I moved in, I did everything I could to support my children alone, and it was really hard.

My daughter sees what it took for me to provide even the most mediocre life for her, but my son is still an angry teenager and hates me for his circumstances, and I don’t blame him but it does hurt my feelings. All of this is to say that when someone has a nice house or gets to stay at home with their kids or has a loving husband or loves their parents or feels like their siblings are their best friends or are pretty and healthy, I’m jealous because not only do I not have that, the tiny amount that I do have, I have worked like a dog for. They didn’t have to do all that to get all those great things, they have more than I do for a fraction of what it cost me and that’s hard for me to accept. It’s something that I’ve always struggled with and it comes and goes in waves. I’ve found that when I see something I want or that someone else has and I’m angry that I don’t have it, that’s when I need to take a step back and refocus.

Because again, I have exactly what Jesus wants me to have. He could give me anything and everything, and I live a better life than 99.9% of the people throughout all of human history. So I have exactly what He wants me to have, and truly He has watched out for me at every step of the way. I have an excellent skill that I was taught when the school just “fell into my lap.” I make enough money to take care of my kids by myself, I travel more than a lot of people. The interest rate on my condo is 2.875% and I have over $200k in equity. I do just fine, I have sufficient for my needs and I need to focus more on that than on what I don’t have. I try, it’s a process I struggle with and always have, but I am trying.

The IM makes an excellent point about how “coveting” or “jealousness” is truly the most pervasive sin, because it is connected with each of the other commandments. And this is where the breaking of the other commandments starts, by being discontented with what we have, with what we’ve been blessed with. It’s the shift in focus from gratitude to desperation and from abundance to persecution, like that we don’t have what we deserve. This is a human characteristic, because in this life none of us get what we deserve. But a thought came to me about this topic as well that a lot of people get outcomes they don’t deserve and a lot of people don’t get the outcomes that they do deserve. This life isn’t fair. What we deserve is up to God and not attainable in this life. What I deserve isn’t up to me, it's up to God, I don’t need to worry whether or not I deserve something, I’m not a worthy judge of that assessment.

The IM makes a really good point saying, “He who covets there mere material ‘things’ of life may have ‘other gods before him,’ and may ‘bow down before them,’ in thought and in spirit, if not in physical fact. He who covets may become coarse and careless in other things also, such as taking ‘the name of the Lord God in vain.’ He who covets may desecrate the Sabbath day to get gain. He who covets may fail to sustain his father and his mother in their need. Some who have coveted have killed to get gain. Many who have coveted a ‘neighbor’s wife’ have committed the grievous sin of adultery. He who covets is more likely to steal (or to swindle or embezzle or engage in sharp practices). He who covets may bear false witness to get gain.”

It's not that covetin makes us simpy want other things, the IM explicitly notes “the commandment against coveteousness does not mean that we should not have a wholesome discontent or a wholesome desire to improve ourselves or out situation. It does not mean that we should not have an honest ambition to have more of the btter things of life. It does not mean that we may not admire what our neighbor has, and seek by our own industry to earn things of like worth… The danger comes when mere ‘ things’ begin to matter too much.”

It's interesting to think about wealth, and the people who are wealthy and billionaires and all that. What does everything in their world revolve around no matter how much money they have? More money, and it gets crazy, killing, stealing, all types of things, all types of ways to get money. I’ve read multiple articles that talk about how at a certain income bracket, the personalities of people become exponentially higher in sociopathic tendencies. That might be a more chicken or the egg situation there, I’m not sure, I don’t know that much about it. I just know that when I focus too much on what I want but don’t have, it changes my mindset from one of gratitude and empowerment to one of entitlement and victimization. And I don’t like the second one. So it’s hard, but I try to be better, I try to do better, and it will probably be the struggle of my lifetime like so many things are, but that’s ok. I have what Jesus wants me to have, and I’m grateful that He takes such great care of me.