Harem - 2nd Samuel 3:1-11

The inevitable war that happened between the “house of Saul and the house of David” didn’t start with that battle between Abner and Joab, but that certainly didn’t help. TB noted that this is worded like a civil war, but it really wasn’t all encompassing combat that impacted all civilians. He said it was more like both sides trying to gain alliances and loyalty from different villages, and there were some skirmishes between the armies but it didn’t really spill into the civilian world. Verses 2-5 go into the “house of David” and says that David had 6 sons while living in Hebron, I supposed during that 7 ½ year period by 6 different wives. David started himself a harem, which TB says was to be expected by ancient kings in those days and I just can’t help but wonder how God looked at the treatment of his daughters by these guys and was anything but disappointed. The harem concept is important because not only did David establish his own, but also because Saul’s 4th son had inherited his father’s harem when Saul died.

That this son inherited his father’s harem is important because Abner went and had sex with Saul’s concubine Rizpah. This is similar to when Reuben had sex with Bilhah, his father’s concubine, and all this makes me wonder just how much choice any of these women had in the matter. TB says that Rizpah, as we will find out in another chapter later, was a very important woman and a highly ranked concubine so Abner went after her on purpose because it was a power play. The reality was that Abner was probably in charge of most decisions because he had the army behind him, giving him all the power but Saul’s son was still king in name, so Abner taking that concubine for his own was the equivalent of treason and everyone knew it.

With everyone having seen the obvious power grab, Saul’s son goes to Abner and demands to know why he did what he did. The why is obvious, and I’m not exactly sure that Abner thought it through all the way but he seems like a pretty smart guy so maybe he was just seeing what he could get away with. Or maybe he really loved her, almost certainly not. Abner doesn’t like that Saul’s son confronted him about this and basically answers that he should be grateful for everything that Abner had done for him, and then he makes an interesting admission, that he knew it was David who was supposed to be king of Israel and that he was going to do everything he could to make that happen now. TB notes that this knowledge that David was the one God wanted to be king of Israel appeared to have been common knowledge, so the question now becomes, “so why wasn’t David immediately installed as king upon Saul’s death? Because people don’t always want what God wants. We have our own goals and agendas and schedule and sometimes the Lord’s ways and His timing are a fly in the ointment; we irrationally think that perhaps we can postpone the inevitable, or advance His schedule, or that the Lord will look the other way and make an exception for us.”

This is essentially where I’ve been for the last couple of years, wanting what I wanted and being angry that I didn’t get the outcome that I wanted. It’s taken a lot of effort, and honestly the Holy Ghost, to change my heart into “ok, I want what you want.” It’s been transformative but incredibly painful. So even though everyone who had the power to make David king and didn’t bore the guilt of that, David also knew that he was supposed to be king, but he acted differently. If he knew he was supposed to occupy that role, the it would make sense that he should start swinging his sword until he made it to the throne. TB’s explanation of what David did really resonated with me though, saying, “on the other hand David who of course knew about it as well sensed that he was not to take extreme measures to put himself into power even though the Lord had ordained it. Rather David figured that if the Lord ordained it the Lord would accomplish it… If David was going to be king much was going to have to be lined up and ready for him to rule. And since King Saul wanted him dead the first thing he had to do was remain alive. So David moved around to survive, he made alliances and built coalitions, he severed some relationships, he learned the art of warfare and taught it to his army, he brokered treaties and gained the favor of powerful men who supported him, and he ruled fairly and steadfastly over the relatively small group in his charge; this was all in preparation for him to become king. But he never took the step of deposing the current king or killing a king to take his place. How the throne became vacant and the circumstances came together that finally sat him on that throne were in the Lord’s providence. So the principle David demonstrated for us is this: pray, prepare, be still and be available, and then boldly step across the threshold when God opens the door.”

This was really powerful for me because it demonstrated that preparation is just as important in the buildup for God’s purposes as it is to accomplish them. It’s so frustrating to feel like I’m just sitting and waiting, like just constantly waiting, and “preparing” but the truth is, I don’t know what’s coming for me, I don’t know the conditions of what is going to happen. So if I think that the preparation is taking too long, then I’m wrong. If I’m getting impatient then that’s just proof that I’m not ready. David accepted that the throne was going to come when it was going to come, when it was right in God’s eyes and he was content with that. He was working where he could to prepare the situation, but he wasn’t actively pushing God past his own timeline. I’d imagine that if he had, if David would have attacked Saul’s son on the throne, then the outcome wouldn’t have been what he wanted or expected. He even would have thought, “God said I’m supposed to be king, why did my attempt to take the throne not work?” Because it wasn’t time. It was going to take time for the people to agree with have David as their unifying king. Plus if he had killed Saul’s son and taken the throne for himself then a significant segment of the population wouldn’t have supported him as king, causing all types of political upheaval. In order for God’s purposes to be fulfilled of a united, obedient Israel, then everything had to go down the way that it did, regardless of how frustrating it was to the players, and regardless of how much people just want it all to hurry up. This was a great lesson for me because even if I “struggle” with David, he’s correct in this situation and I’m wrong so I need to take a page out of his book and just wait, work where I can to improve what’s told to me by the Spirit, and then just chill out and trust that God will deliver what His plan is, when it’s the proper time, and that it's going to take longer than I want.